This about sums it up...
This falls neatly into the category of "
how Nigel thinks". Yes, shlubbies, I particularly like this
shot at right. It captures much of how I feel about just about everything, all at once. It's
sick and grotesque and horrifying--sure to be a hit at parties, for which quite naturally (you know me by now, yes?) I don't receive many invites. Regardless.
You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll run the gamut of human emotion.
Your comment is welcomed below.
It was 40 years ago Friday
Aaaarrrrggghh!
June 1, this Friday, is the
goddamm 40th anniversary of the release of
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band by el Beatleos (Spanish for "
The Beatles"). 40 years. 40 goddamm years. Here's another way to look at that: 20 years, times two. Quick, imagine yourself in
1967. Now subtract 40 years. It's 19-fucking-27! How does
that make you feel? Are we old? Are we dead yet? 40 fricking bloody years. 10 times 4! Shit. 40 years.
It's time to take the pills.
The new non-obese me
I get an email from someone today, a spammer, subject line:
"You'll love the new non-obese you!" Immediately, my mind (it's like a steel trap, shlubbies) sprung into action. Nano-seconds flitted by, but not before I instantaneously
verbalized my response: "Fuck you, no I won't."There are 2 big reasons why:
- I'm still obese and not planning on not being so anytime in the forseeable future;
- I don't love anything, least of all big-arse me.
I'm out of material.
Look what I found on e-Bay!
Click on the box for a larger, even more disgusting view. What a pervert.
A souvenir of your visit
Commentary on the Bill Of RIghts
The Bill of Rights gives me the fucking horn. You should know them even if you as a shlubbie are not American. Because they are fucking cool. Here we go with the
10 Amendments that all should know...it's slow slogging, but worth it: Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances. Nigel says: all this
Bible and Koran thumping can buff my scrotum. Yup. And when I'm paying for your belief via taxes, I say: bugger that. So that includes everything from forced abortion payments to atheistic twats, which suck, to prayer in schools, which also sucks.
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. Nigel says: Fuckin' A, B, C, and D. And
Sigarms is the company I endorse. Oh, btw: anyone who says this
isn't an individual right (which all the others are...) can buff my scrotum.
No Soldier shall, in time of peace be quartered in any house, without the consent of the Owner, nor in time of war, but in a manner to be prescribed by law.
Nigel says: unless the soldier looks like this at right, whereupon she can quarter herself forthwith, fiftwith, and sixwith in my house. Most particularly, in my bed
, with li'l old me, naked as hell, awaiting her attack.
The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers, and effects, against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall not be violated, and no Warrants shall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, and particularly describing the place to be searched, and the persons or things to be seized. Nigel says: this could be the one I love the most. Fuck you, cocksucking search bastards!
No person shall be held to answer for a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, 
except in cases arising in the land or naval forces, or in the Militia, when in actual service in time of War or public danger; nor shall any person be subject for the same offence to be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case to be a witness against himself, nor be deprived of life, liberty, or property, without due process of law; nor shall private property be taken for public use, without just compensation. Nigel says: a little habeus the fuckin corpus action, assholes. Get used to it, Guantanamo dickwads-in-charge (dickwad photo upper left)!
I
n all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial, by an impartial jury of the State and district wherein the crime shall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, and to be informed of the nature and cause of the accusation; to be confronted with the witnesses against him; to have compulsory process for obtaining witnesses in his favor, and to have the Assistance of Counsel for his defence. Nigel says: a speedy trial. Yup, yup.
Fuck you if you go slowly, which you're only allowed to do
when doing Teri Hatcher (gratuitous near-nude photo at right, and btw DAMMIT is she hot or what?).
In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved, and no fact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise reexamined in any Court of the United States, than according to the rules of the common law.
Excessive bail shall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel and unusual punishments inflicted. Nigel says: these two are minor and especially don't apply when it comes to me perving on 18 year old pulchritude, which is about all I care about (at left, the first google search result for "18 year old pulchritude". WTF? Doesn't anyone in the goddam world know what "pulchritude" means?
The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall not be construed to deny or disparage others retained by the people.
The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, nor prohibited by it to the States, are reserved to the States respectively, or to the people. Nigel says: these two say: fuck you, Nancy Pelosi, you good-looking grandmother with big tits. Ain't nothing not in the Constitution enumerated that you can jump on without us getting pissed off. Show us your tits, would you?
That's all for the civics lesson. You may now return yourself to your previous position of total stupor.
I can't miss the last Sopranos!
What I just realized is: I'm going to be in Orlando speaking at a convention the
night of the last Sopranos episode. And the problem is that the Mickey Mouse operation that runs the hotel I'll be staying at
doesn't have HBO.
That's right.
Disney doesn't have HBO in their hotels. Not at the Grand Floridian or anywhere else. Apparently because of the swearing and un-family like nature of much of their programming. This from the same company that supports whatever the hell half-nude
Mardi Gras "Gay Days" thing they allow in the park (actually, I couldn't care less...but
why is that ok but HBO isn't? I don't get it).
So, from the show:
Meadow Soprano. I wouldn't mind seeing
Jamie-Lynne Sigler (looking luscious at right) naked, I don't have half a mind to tell you. But that's not the point of this particular diatribe. I gotta know what the hell happens to this show the night of the last episode, because
hearing it anecdotally from fuckwits the next day at the breakfast table is no bloody good.What to do? Where's the closest place to the Grand Floridian that has HBO? A little help, shlubbies?
I take public transportation whenever possible
Nigel nookie seduction technique, exposed
Well, it's true, there's
a new technique I've been trying lately. You may remember my
other, very successful seduction move, which is to hold a pre-moistened handkerchief up and say to the young lady in question, "excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?" It's a big hit at parties. But now someone's going around putting up warning posters in my neighborhood (above left). Dammit.
The boss talks out his butt most days
At work for me right now, when my funeral home boss talks, I have a hard time not thinking about him this way. Always with the bitching and moaning about the
body prep not being right and
why can't I control the smells better so it doesn't waft upstairs to the coffin showroom and could I be just a bit more
careful with the fluids?
Hey, boss: buff my scrotum.
200,000 Muslim morons
Amazing: seems we've got
200,000 dipshits living in the USA who think that
suicide attacks are just
phat when used to "defend Islam"!
Background: the Pew Research Center did a study about attitudes among American Muslims (note--
American, not foreign). Released yesterday, the
results show
26% of those under age 30 approve of suicide attacks as a tactic in protecting the "religion of peace".
Do the math. 2.6 million Muslims in the US; 800,000 under age 30--that means
over 200,000 of these idiots apparently wouldn't mind being blown to pieces themselves.
Predictably, out come the moronic Muslims complaining about the press generated by this. Sample bullshit, from
Imam Sayed Hassan Al-Qazwini of the Islamic Center of America: "Disseminating the message of Islam and educating the world about it is mandated by a fierce anti-Islamic campaign that smears Islam with terrorism and violence." Hey, douchebag -- read the results of your own people's opinions. No one's putting words in their mouths (or bacon, ham, or alcohol, for that matter). I....don't know what else to say except:
I own a Sig Sauer P229R. Order yours today. Because I'm a strong believer that
attacks by me are just
phat when use to... "defend me". Fucking asswipers.
Welcome to Dante's First Circle of Hell....
TV coverage can buff my scrotum
Isn't it something how we
lurch from subject to subject in the national discourse, nothing ever fully resolved, topics dropped like hot potatoes the moment the next gigantic event comes along?
Many years ago I got into an argument with retired president of
CBS TV News, Dick Salant. I asked him a question and he got pissed: "how much does the presence of the camera change the nature of the story?" He
called me an asshole. 
But this is exactly the point. Example:
genocide in Rwanda. For a short time back in 1994, CNN's Christiane Amanpour was there: wandering around refugee camps, blowing flies out of her mouth, examining amputated limb stumps...you know, basic tourism. Then all of a sudden she was gone, off to the next big thing. And *poof*, the story went away. But during her time there, we heard so much about Rwanda that, as a measure of its gravity, actual
rock stars got upset and organized some something or other to provide "relief".
This made everyone feel so much better.Yes, in Rwanda, the
world was watching! Compare that to what happened in
Burundi starting in
1972, when a well organized genocide "cleaned out" 250,000 people. The difference was:
no one in the West gave two shits back then, and there was zero TV coverage, and so it went on and on and on and on and on and nothing was EVER done about it. Certainly there was no rock star sing-along free auction concert telethon benefit satellite swap meet to help provide "relief".
Even though he's dead,
Dick Salant can buff my scrotum.
Betty Nguyen, object of affection from afar
I found this
online at www.hotvietchicks.com.
Don't ask me why I went there. Just trust me on this. But I'm
pissed, because my el-fantasioso babe,
CNN's Betty Nguyen, her of the tight little mini-dress crossed legs Saturday and Sunday morning 6a--10a and why can't we see more of her legs and all she has to offer plus, who is this goddamm "TJ" sitting next to her why can't I be him damm it damm it damm it....
Ahem.
Anyway, I'm
SHOCKED, SHOCKED, that junk like this is on the Internet.
Karl Lagerfeld is Peter Sellers
Take a look at this complete loser. It's German designer
Karl Lagerfeld, at some recent
"fashion" event. He's a Nazi buttslammer who's, what, 85 years old? So he's an old pervert. Hey,
I'm an old pervert, but at least I'm perving on women! And there's
one German chick I know (Sylvia, you slick gorgeous babe, I want you to leave your husband for maybe 20 minutes just once) who, if she'd get on her knees and smiled, hell, I'd go into a
concentration camp for her right now, know what I mean?
And this old tart
Lagerfeld is wearing sunglasses indoors, which is cool and ok ONLY if your name is
Jack Nicholson, plus he's got on
half-finger gloves, perfect for jacking off to homo porn, this Lagerfeld. He looks like Peter Sellers in Dr. Strangelove (right)
But he makes a nice after shave and its available at
Home Depot. So I say: put it on your shopping list.
Arabs are fun at parties
Why is it that when there's an explosion or a bomb or batttle or some kind of building falling down in the Middle East, there's always heaps of Arabs lollygagging around the remnants/leftovers/remains? Apparently the
evil Israelis have completely stopped the
totally blameless Arabs from obtaining employment--this has to explain the ability of people to just stand around all bloody day. It's apparently true even in Lebanon, which at last check was controlled not by the Israelis. But hey, fuck it, Israel is to blame for everything, hmmm?
Check out this video: it's a frigging
guns blazing battle, and there are
Arabs standing around watching:
Of course, there's the ubiquitous "four guys carrying the wounded guy off fireman-style". I particularly liked that part of it.
Jimmy Carter is a horn dog
That
Jimmy Carter. At the same time
he's calling Bush the worst President ever, here he is at left, feeling up a tourist. In other words, doing his best to imitate Bill Clinton. It's not enough that he's
committing adultery in his heart, is it? No. So Jimmy, quoting from your favorite book, I say: "
Judge not, that you be not judged. For with the judgment that you pronounce you will be judged, and the measure you give will be the measure you get." - Matthew 7: 1-5
Dumb domains and the companies that own them
Gotta have a
domain name if you're in business. But, shlubbies, the smart thing to do is look at the domain name you've chosen
as other see it and not just as you
think it looks. Failure to do this may result in unintentional hilarity...here, then, real companies that deal in everyday humdrum products and services but
damned if they didn’t give their domain names enough advance thought:1. A site called ‘
Who Represents‘ where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity:
www.whorepresents.com2.
Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at
www.expertsexchange.com3. Looking for a pen? Look no further than
Pen Island at
www.penisland.net4. Need a therapist? Try
Therapist Finder at
www.therapistfinder.com5. Here’s the
Italian Power Generator company:
www.powergenitalia.com6. And the
Mole Station Native Nursery:
www.molestationnursery.com7. Looking for computer software? Try
www.ipanywhere.com8. Welcome to the
First Cumming Methodist Church. Their website is
www.cummingfirst.com9. For art design, go to:
www.speedofart.com10. Want to holiday in
Lake Tahoe?
www.gotahoe.com -- it's Don Imus' favorite, btw.
Sorry about your recent abortion
A girl I know just
exercised her "right to choose" and underwent the
procedure because, oh, I don't know, it's
bikini season coming up and who wants to look pregnant in the summertime?
So I hied myself on down to the local bakery. My request was met with scorn and derision, but I got it done. And the bakery hippies created the cake pictured here.
I'm planning on throwing a
party for this chick--hence the cake. And she better
wear one of those tiny bikinis or all this will have been for naught.
Crappy movies available for rent
Every shitty film ever made, is available here at
"My Dung" Video!
Nestled in the
Buford Highway "Chambodia" triangle of Atlanta, Georgia, you'll find we carry all the
crappy films! The flicks that stunk up the joint--they're for rent!
Not sure what to get? Our friendly staff will happily
shoot the shit with you, find out your taste, and get you on a roll.
Swear words associated with chickens?
So
John McCain gets into a shouting match Thursday with Texas Senate Republican
John Cornyn--something about the
immigration thing and Cornyn's pissed because McCain's been out campaigning while Cornyn's been back in D.C. working and then comes McCain off the campaign trail, starting to throw his weight around....and Cornyn doesn't like it.
McCain told Cornyn: "Fuck you!" and also, according to the
Washington Post, used a
curse word "associated with a chicken".
WTF?
I don't know of any
swear words associated with chickens. Do you? A little help, please: feel free to
jump in the comments box and let the world know.
Expedition to McDonald's
Last night whilst driving home drunk, I thought: I'm a bit peckish.
McDonald's, here I come. In the drive-thru, then, behind this behemoth SUV. A
Ford Expedition, containing a mother and a simply incredible number of teenagers. And they were giving me shit, and I wasn't happy about it.
First off, they ordered at least one of each of everything on the damn menu, but with
variations, dontcha know. A
Big Mac but with no lettuce, for example. Second, this took forever. So me being me, I start yelling at them. Out the window, looking forward and pointing with my middle finger. I'm screaming at the driver, calling her a fat twat and a
warm bowl of fuck and the like.
Defeated, she drive off. And my double quarter pounder with cheese and extra cholesterol tasted extra good after this vigorous exchange, let me tell you.
WTF?
I don't know what to make of this. I'll leave it to you to judge.
It's a real product, though. No photos or anything, see, because I have class and also self-respect and
I respect you, too, you lovely little shlubbie, you.
Clickenzie an deiner eigenen riskenzie (that's mostly Kraut for "click at your own risk").
Jenna Jameson wants Hillary Clinton (blech!)
I see where the baby-batter receptacle
Jenna Jameson has endorsed Hillary Clinton. Says
she wants to "get rid of Bush." I say: Jenna, baby, what's the problem--I thought
you already shaved down there?*rimshot*!
Thank you, thank you. I'll be here all week. Don't forget to tip your waiters and waitresses.
(Parenthetical aside: why is it that anyone who happens to appear in porn films automatically becomes a "porn star"? Aren't there any "B" list porn "actors" working their way up to "stardom"? 'Cause when I'm wanking away to "My Bare Lady", I wonder about these things sometimes...)
Teething trouble for me started early
More on the
dentist thing from yesterday. I've
always had tooth trouble as you can see from the family snapshot here taken during the Fall of 1958. Undeniably fucking cute as I was, I sure had
the big teeths...breast feeding was a real goddamm challenge (and still is). I had lottsa problems back then, lemme tell ya.
Now of course, I'm mostly normal and everything's jake!
In Wisconsin, they got no balls....
You think
Wisconsin, you think:
Yon Yonson. Or maybe:
beer and braunschweiger. And now you can
add balls to the list.
Not balls as in, say, the football Packers or the baseball Brewers. No.
Balls, as in: testicles. Grilled gonads--100 pounds of them--are what was on the menu at
Mama's Place Bar & Grill in Elderon, which just completed their annual nuts fry-up. This is where taste-bud challenged lunatics pony up $5 to munch all-you-can-eat bull, goat, and lamb testicles. Mama says: "Hey,
what else is there to do in a small town?"
Other than chomp on bull balls? In a small town? Two alternatives spring to mind: yiz can drink, or yiz can fuck.
Eating balls--that's way the frigging hell down on the list.
It does, however, bring new meaning to my favorite catch phrase, which is of course:
buff my scrotum!
Back to (redneck) school!
I've been thinking about
going back to college, but I can't make up my mind which one to go to--
clown college, or barber college? What do you think?
Hey, here's another potential option: the "
Academy Of Country Music". Apparently you can finish your education there. How about a
Bachelor's in Redneck Caterwauling?
I'll give these hillbillys one thing -- they may drop the letter "g" at the end of words, or use "ain't" all the time, or twist up their vocals to do that weird twangy vibrato thing, but
who cares when you can perv on the likes of
Taylor Swift or
Carrie Underwood or
Lorrie Morgan?
What I do is: settle back in the Barcolounger, put
Deftones on the i-Pod so as to drown out any residual
banjo-thumping screeching...and then watch the country awards show with their "music" turned down. And I do play-by-play of all the
nasty things crossing my mind when, say, Chely Wright wanders across the stage.
I am such a bad man.
Bad timing with the sign change
See, this is what happens when you're
changing the sign at your business -- and someone evil, like me old mate Gomez, is standing there with a
Nikon... just waiting for when it's the right moment to
click the shutter. Cheers!
Dentists can jolly well buff my scrotum
Nige, can we see your teeth? Okeydokey. And the reason why they look this way: because 23 years ago,
a dentist yelled at me for not "flossing". Said my charming practitioner, Dr. Mengele: "Nigel, you've got a 4mm gap between posterior 32 and gumline--you're a goddam criminal asshole!" or something to that effect. Since then, I've had no visits to the dentist. If I wanted to get yelled at, I'd get married again.
Shudder...Dentists are a lot like stock brokers: they're always comin' up with something new to generate revenue streams out the wing-wang. It was about 1985 or so that this supposed "flossing" thing became their latest money-grubbing b.s. evil scheme, and I refuse to be a part of it. Dentists may all
buff my scrotum.Now, excuse me while I go back to gumming my lunch.
Captain Chung will kick your ass
I was commenting on my pal
Dr. Chip's fucking killer blog about
Koreans being lunatics and the example I gave was the February 1967
Vietnam War "Battle of Tra Binh Dong", where a single company of ROK Marines -- about 200 guys -- beat the shit out of two goddamn divisions -- about 3,000 asswipe North Vietnamese. It was hand-to-hand and included Korean Tae Kwon Do throwdowns. No kidding.
So I did some googling and I found a
war web site that's an English translation of the official Korean account of this battle. Among the quotable quotes I found, enjoyed, and wished to share with you are these, from the leader of the Blue Dragon company, a
Captain Chung (pictured at left) who obviously had stones of steel:"Soldiers! Be sure that the damn shits having camouflage with weeds on their camouflaged fatigues are all Vietcong!!! So sweep’em all without hesitation!!"--and--
"Go after these damn shits and do not lose even one"--and--
"All enemies lost arms and got amputated and deadly exhausted!"--and, finally, at the end of the battle:
"Ah! It is wished Tra Binh Dong be in peaceful rest!!!"I don't know about you, but I'm motivated now!
Had enough food, you fat sluggy bastard?
Dateline: Toledo.
Golden Corral, the indescribably disgusting all-u-can-eat-you-fat-fucking-tub-of-lard buffet is the scene of fisticuffs. Why? Crowded "restaurant" full of Mother's Day celebrants, baby screaming, someone tells the baby to shut up, baby's mother goes apeshit, chairs, tables fly, 10 minute fight, 5 people arrested. The horror, the horror.
The Toledo Blade has all the hideous details.
Problems I have with this story:
- Toledo. Just on gp's, you know: Toledo. It's like Kankakee, but without the charm.
- Golden Corral. The Wal Mart of restaurants, with similar clientele (hence, the fighting). I'll take a big ol' heaping helping of e-coli, please!
- Golden Corral....on Mother's Day, for God's sake! "Mom, I really hate you, so to celebrate I chose the worst possible place in the world to eat." (Well...second worst. The Outback Steakhouse was full). Seriously, who would subject their mother to the Golden Corral?
I was much nicer to my mother than these bastards apparently were. My more than thoughtful gifts included: a bottle of
Old Overholt Straight Rye, two pouches of
Red Man, a
"#8" decal, and a
WWE poster. She cried, she was so happy.
Mother's Day gift: baby drop off service
Just in time for
Mother's Day!
Japan's Jikei Hospital has
launched something new. Called the "cradle of storks", it's a drop-off service for women who don't want their infants anymore. Works like this: mother decides kid is way the hell too much trouble and is interfering with life better spent singing in karaoke bars, drives the Mazda to the hospital, walks up to mini-door inset into the wall, dumps baby in there, drives away, celebrates at Benihana with sushi and sake, finally
commits ritual seppuku disembowelment. Photo of the baby hatch at left.
It brings a tear of joy to my left eye--
I can't help but be a bit sentimental, dontcha know.
You too can smell like NASCAR!
Fired up the Philco last Sunday and heard the
Richmond NASCAR race on the MRN network. Play-by-play coverage of NASCAR on the radio ("dang if they're not turning left...again!") is a bit like play-by-play coverage of fishing on the radio. Aural--not so much. Visual--yeah, baby.
It's like
porn. Very visual. Not so good in audio book format, unless read to you by Maureen McCormick
(see previous post). Mais mois, je digresse.
During the broadcast we hear an ad for
Daytona 500 Fragrance For Men. At least, that's what I thought I heard. Hard to believe, no? But turns out: yes. There really is a Daytona 500 fragrance for men, and it's pictured at right. The ad said: "
available now at Sears" but I'm thinking maybe
Wal Mart would be the more appropriate retailer.
The biggest question is:
what exactly does this Daytona 500 fragrance smell like? Burning oil? Jet fuel?
David Stremme's underwear after a 500 mile race in a 110 degree car? What?
If we're talking fragrances based on sporting events,
here's the one I really wish they'd make: "
Women's Beach Volleyball--The Fragrance For Men". I'd order that shit by the gallon. Take a
biiiiiiiiig sniff, shlubbies!
Mmmmm....beer
Others: mugging workshop. Nigel: Sig Sauer
Crime in our town is completely out of control. Want proof? At left, a shot from the local community center's
"Mugged? Who, Me?" workshop. This particular portion of the day features facilitator
Shreema Ma Kushraphahin leading the group in surrender techniques. Apparently the corrrect way to execute the "Hands up!" response is important in surviving a mugging.
I'm of a different bent. See, my mugging response technique involves my friend
Mr. Sauer. When me old mate
Sig makes his presence known, would-be bandits
piss their pants.
I love Mr. Sauer, and wish that he were a
woman so I could perv her at a level appropriate for my adoration and veneration.
The funniest show on TV right now...
I couldn't stop laughing while watching TV Saturday night.
Here's what I saw on the screen: the interior of a van, camera aspect from the rear looking forward. In the cargo area we see
three very attractive girls. One is
puking into a yellow bucket while another, just in front of her, is hunched over a second bucket, holding her nose. The third, off to the side on the right, is sitting on a third bucket with panties down to her ankles,
taking a dump into the bucket while providing play-by-play commentary.Welcome to the amazing world of
Fuse TV's Rad Girls (photo, above left) Each show features disgusting, stupid stuff similar to that featured in the Jackass movies, except as performed by three smokin' hot babes. Other examples from the show:
- "May I Fart In Your Mouth", where the girls stop passers-by and ask their permission to do...just...that (and the mostly male interviewees allow this, btw);
- Our three hotties in a batting cage, pitching dog, horse, and elephant shit at each other;
- Super wedgies delivered via a crane (!) -- astonishing camel-toe results displayed for all to see
- And let's not forget: How to bikini wax
Oh--the example in the vans with the buckets was called the
"Piss, Puke, and Poop Competition". The one girl holding her nose had apparently just completed urinating into her bucket, but much of the pee had ended up on the van floor.
Rad Girls on Fuse TV simply couldn't be better. Check your cable listings, and don't miss the next episode, whatever you do.
This falls neatly into the category of "how Nigel thinks". Yes, shlubbies, I particularly like this shot at right. It captures much of how I feel about just about everything, all at once. It's sick and grotesque and horrifying--sure to be a hit at parties, for which quite naturally (you know me by now, yes?) I don't receive many invites. Regardless. You'll laugh, you'll cry, you'll run the gamut of human emotion.
