Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Who are all these damned people on MTV?

Of all the celebrities in Yahoo's photo gallery from last night's MTV Movie Awards -- I only know who 8 of the 26 people are. Most of those I know vaguely, by name only. Like Jessica Biel. Wasn't she in Flashdance? Others of the 8 I know because I accidentally ran across some of their "work". Like this Dane Cook, who had a TV series called "Tourgasm". This guy apparently thinks he's pretty funny, when in fact he sucks the pus oozing hose. I really like Samuel L. Jackson, though. He's the baddest of the baddass baddasses.

There are a bunch I don't know. Of these, Eva Mendes (at right) caught my eye (and my underwear), plus she's Latina which makes my blood boil. Grrrrr.

Among the rest?

• Jay-Z: does music I'm led to believe. Could be named Fuk-U for all I care.
• Fergie: wasn't she a British princess with Diana? Didn't she do Prince Charles? Or was it with the other brother?
• Mandy Moore: Dudley Moore's niece? Roger Moore's daughter? Who knows?
• John Krasinski: nephew of the Unabomber? Could be? Who's arguing?
• Lauren Conrad: High on the wankability scale. Has pants tightening potential.
• Rihanna: inspiration for that Fleetwood Mac song. You know the one: "Don't Stop".
  

Boy, am I ever out of touch.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 1:48 PM