Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Nookie in space

So the story as fast as I can tell it: apparently there's this NASA chick (left) who's been performing the old intersecting parabola with this NASA guy (right). Some badger scratchin' a goin' on, dontcha know. But the guy has another lady stashed somewhere. So the NASA babe gets pissed when she finds out about this and basically kidnaps the other rigazza, pepper sprays her face, weird story, gets arrested does this bint, and now she's in mega-shmega trouble. She's being charged with attempted first-degree murder.

But because I'm the way I am, I'm thinking this: what's that like? Sex between two astronauts? Here, then, from the forthcoming Lifetime Channel production of "Astro-Naughty" starring Chaz Palmintieri as Major Tom, NASA hero, and Heather Locklear as Commander Coochie, NASA vixen:

• Coochie: "Are those your pants being pressurized or are you just happy to see me?"
• Tom: "Ooo yeah, my command module is ready to launch. You know my favorite part of space sex is that "re-entry" with you, baby."
• Coochie: "Leave your helmet on and do the Darth Vader voice--it makes me crazy. And now I'm ready for your complex docking maneuver, big boy."
• Tom: "Rear hatch entry? Whoo boy! Come to think of it, my mission is to boldly go where no man has gone before."
  
• Coochie: "Omigod, omigod, I'm blasting off, I'm blasting off, I'm blasting off!"

The End. A Quinn Martin Production.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 2:31 PM