My Valentine's Day gift guide
Here's your pal Nigel's fabulous Valentine's Gift Guide For Lovers--you know who you are, you shlubbie you. Any one of the gifts below are guaranteed to get you an interesting Valentine's Day night--know whuddimean, nudge nudge, say no more?
"All About Scabs", by Genichiro Yagyu. The same romantic devils who produced "Everyone Poops" have turned their attention to scabs. Perfect airplane reading, or for lolling in the hammock on the beach. She'll love you for it!
"Fart Proudly!" It's inventor, Founding Father, and all around fun guy Benjamin Franklin, with a collection of writings you've never seen before. Among the topics: farting (obviously), the erotic secrets of Betsy Ross, and how to clean your backside with a corn cob efficiently. Great at parties, lots of fun. She'll love you for it!
"The Cellulite Secret: Why You Have It & How To Lose It", by Shonagh Walker. Helpful handy hints for the one you love. If you'd like her to get rid of all that goddamm cottage cheese on the back of her legs so maybe she can look a bit more like Rebecca Lord (out of the corner of your eye and if you sorta squint), well then...she'll love you for it!
Wolf Urine Lure. Indispensable for shooing away all the irritating little four-legged buggers who congregate around your musty, dusty, and mildewed garbage cans. Or maybe you just want to occasionally get a whiff of that skat yourself? Either way: she'll love you for it!
Well, there you go, boyos. Your Nigel comes through with simply perfect selections for you last minute horn-dog shoppers. Romance, a shiver, and a sigh. Aren't I good to you people? I mean, really!
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 2:43 PM
1 Comments:
Now this is quite interesting....and quite enjoyable as well...thanks for this post and sharing all these with us...well i'd also like you to visit my blog on Valentines Day sometimes and check out all the cool resources and suggestions i've posted there!!!
Post a Comment
<< Home