Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Valentine's Day bites the labonzo

Piss in the wind. Valentine's Day is coming up. I don't get it and never will: apparently if you're a guy, you're supposed to donate your heart to some girl, and they subsequently gleefully perform their gender specialty, to wit: stomping the shit out of it.

The hell with that. No bint gets my heart this year, nuh-uh. Tell the truth, no bint has for years. Then again, I'm voluntarily retired from the bint-baiting business.

Here's my Valentine's love poem. Feel free to swipe it:

Valentine's Day is almost here
So I'll celebrate by drinking beer!
I have bad habits--you don't like 'em?
Eat my shorts and buff my scrotum.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 3:31 PM