Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Caroline Kennedy can buff my dead brother's scrotum

I see where the New York Governor is now dissing Caroline Kennedy as part of the fall-out to her non-selection as Hillary Clinton's replacement in the Senate. In today's New York Daily News, there are a couple of stories about things he's said about her that reflect his view that she is a total cypher; vapid, with no firmly held views on anything, and having been brought up so spoiled and in such a bubble that she has absolutely zero ability to relate to normal people.

None of this surprises your Nigel. 'Cause, see, what may surprise you is: I had two very smart brothers (now just one--I'm the oldest, and the middle brother passed away in 2004). The one still alive, the youngest, went to Northwestern and is now a high up corporate VP. The one who died was a brilliant scholar and athlete, and graduated with honors from Harvard, spoke fluent Japanese, and went on to a career as an entrepreneur in the food business. And he's the reason for my perspective on Princess Caroline.

He was a contemporary of hers at Harvard, and ran into her often, and reported at the time that she was a total slack rich bitch with no manners. Nothing nice about her; this was apparently well known on campus. One time he even got into it with her; he'd held the door for her as they walked into a building and she passed on by without acknowledging him in any way. So he muttered under his breath, "you're welcome" and she turned and challenged him on it with a "what did you say?" Bro didn't back down, saying something like "typically when someone holds the door for you, you thank them" and she called him a "fucking loser" (he remembered that exactly); that set him off and they ended up screaming at each other.

I would have paid money to have heard the exchange because my now-dead brother was regularly even more caustic than lil' ol' me. He remembered something about calling her an "ugly hook-nosed commie twat with no class" and a "Park Avenue cunt" which of course went down oh so smoothly. I guaran-damn-tee no one had ever spoken to little miss princess like that before, to her face. Ha!

So, now this Governor has discovered much the same as what my brother dealt with nearly 30 years ago in Cambridge. How about that?

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 3:22 PM