Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Frank Flickster, hero of box office personnel everywhere

How proud must be the parents of full-time movie theatre box office personnel.

Like the guy running the Regal Cinemas front end last week. I'd pre-purchased Imax 3D tickets for Polar Express via fandango.com, and silly me, I went and stood at their designated pick up window. No one there--but three registers down is our hero (who we'll call Frank Flickster). He's the only one there, waiting on a long line of people. Looks over at me--returns to what he's doing. I wait another 30 seconds, and then realize I'll need to stand in line, too, despite having pre-purchased the tickets.

Time goes by. It's a long line.

My turn now, and Frank immediately (as in, before I open my mouth): "Sorry you had to wait in line but you didn't need to--you could've used the kiosk at the side there". I look for this "kiosk" but have no idea what he's talking about. Huh? Says Frank: "The machine, right there". I look again. All I see is the sign above the pick up window that says "Fandango.com Ticket Pick Up". I stress, not unkindly, that the only sign is the one above the window and wouldn't it be helpful if there was a sign pointing one in the general direction of these supposed machines? Not responding, Frank gravely hands over the tickets, which are all on one big perforated roll (this was for a birthday party group of 8). I ask Frank to confirm that I indeed had tickets good for 2 adults and 6 children. Says Frank: "I don't know what you've got, I just printed out whatever you ordered."

Well! Was I ever put in my place!!

Hey Frank at the Regal Imax at Mall of Georgia: buff my scrotum!

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 1:48 PM