Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Actually, I too could be the father, really. I could.

I've been holding off on commenting about this....business...because, among other things, I almost pissed myself laughing when I heard on the radio that Zsa Zsa Gabor's husband, Prince Matchabelli (or whatever his fucking name is, aged 107 or thereabouts), claimed that he could be the father of Anna Nicole's poor little girl born 5 months ago. 'Twas so funny that if submitted as part of a fictional script, it would have been rejected as "too hard to believe".

And I say "poor little girl" because Anna Nicole herself was living proof that money doesn't buy happiness.

So now here comes news that the developer of her mansion in the Bahamas is also claiming that he could be the father...apparently they shtupped a few times (isn't that what all women do with contractors who come to their house? At least in the pornos I rent)....

That makes 4 guys (and counting) who apparently partook of Anna Nicole's favors.

Not to speak ill of the dead--but did Anna Nicole just, um, spread 'em for everyone? Someone needs to talk to the Domino's Pizza delivery guy, and the cable man, and the postman, and the rest of 'em, and see if any of those dudes could be the daddy. And if she did offer it up willy-nilly, then where the hell was your pal Nigel's willy while all this nilly was going on?

I'll tell you. It was being wanked, solo, in my goddamm bathtub.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 8:49 PM