"Dear Nigel...."
My bloggin' brutha and best friend I've yet to meet, Carlos, suggests that your humble Nigel produce a "Dear Nigel" column, ala Dear Abby. It'd be great, full of fun filled advice and how-to's, from your expert: moi!So, darling shlubbies, I am open to suggestion and happy to help with the goddamm fucking advice. Fire away, via comments--and I will copy and paste the worst of them, and respond, fortwith! And fifthwith, too, you bastards!
And remember: I put the "um" in "scrotum". So you can count on me to not only be solid, but confidential, too. (Riiiigggghhhhhtttt........)
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 9:40 PM
3 Comments:
Dearest Nigel,
Why is it that a luscious single babe such as myself, who showers meticulously from head to toe, bikini waxes, uses deodorant, brushes her teeth, and has a clean bill of physical and mental health cannot get laid on a regular basis by a studly hot single cop who wants nothing more than to skillfully and sweetly ravish me every time he gets off duty ?
Everyone else on the planet seems to be having orgasms as often as they drink starbucks in the mornings.
Please render some appropriate and wise perspective before my special place becomes filled with cobwebs from lack of use.
p.s. I even bought some new shoes as a visual incentive if you want to check out my most recent blog post :)
Perhaps it's that I'm buying Dior instead of Jimmy Choo ?
Dear Nigel,
Why is it that we can't create a sport or reality show where one hunts their ex until their dead? I have anxieties about not being able to do this....
I think you've found your niche! I'm gonna spread you around like genital warts babay!
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