Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

My ear wax bunny

Damn, I am good looking (me, left, smiling at ya, 'cause I'm a nice guy, and also really really handsome, don't ya think). The doctor kept hinting so, too. I could just tell, right? Sometimes you just....know. There she was, deep inside my left ear canal, sharp probe propped between thumb and digit; digging away, trying to remove the plug of earwax embedded in there so much so that I couldn't hear a BLAME thing, dammit, hell. She kept saying "Stay still, now, Nigel, please, don't move, as I might end up inserting this intrument of perlustration deep within your brain." At least, that's what I think she said.

Jeez, was I turned on!

So she's scraping away in there, and I'm vaguely uncomfortable, because she's so close to my cerebellum and all. Finally, out comes this gigantic disgusting....glob....of stuff. This...thing...has been living in my head for at least the last 7 years. Mercy.

The verdict? Tenir vos espèce de chevaux. After summary evaluation and careful review of verbatim comments recorded on-site and at the exact moment of foreign matter extrication: no big surprise; it tasted like chicken.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 8:20 PM