Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Two items about spelling--first, the Rechtschreibungsbiene

So the gigantic national spelling bee finals took place this past week, and the winner was young Kathy Close, of Amboy N.J. (left)--good for her. She correctly spelled "ursprache", which is German for something to do with talking or speaking or something.

She defeated one Finola Hackett, who had a helluva time trying to spell "veltschmerz", which is also German for something to do with something.

So as I'm watching I'm thinking: what's with the goddam German? Isn't it enough that we crushed those militaristic beer-swilling sado-masochistic automatons not once but twice, in the last century? Didn't WE win? So, since when does a working knowledge of German qualify you as the next USA National Spelling Bee winner?

That's a pile of scheiss.


I wonder: is it the same in Germany? Do they have to spell English words to win the National Spelling Bee there (the "Rechtschreibungsbiene", officially)? Do they worry about English grammar? Are they concerned about vowel rules like "I before E except for C"? Has it always been that way? If we looked back into the deepest darkest Teutonic past, would we find them all sitting around the campfire, brushing up on their Shakespeare on the off-chance that perhaps, just maybe, someone would ask them to spell, say, "dictatorship"?

Can someone explain this to me, please?

Hey, Adolf: Schwabbeln Sie meinen Hodensack (buff my scrotum)!.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 8:31 PM