Where I opine on the TV fare awarded Emmys
Shlubbies, the piss has been taken relative to your humble servant's previous posting about not watching the Emmy nominated TV shows.Fair enough. Some musings about some of the winners:
24, starring Kiefer Sutherland, at left. Apparently this show has something to do with terrifying, non-stop action inducing, gut-wrenching things, all occurring on the same day, hence the clever title (hey, if I named something "24", you can be damned sure the plot would center around a case of beer. I'm just sayin'...), and this Sutherland person runs around stopping it all from happening. Aside: who would name their child "Kiefer", anyway? A communist Canadian actor, that's who. Greetings, Comrade Donald. Driven any Volvos lately?- The Office. Is this an American show or an English show? Who knows? Allegedly a comedy, it features all manner of rape and incest and sodomy in the workplace. Since I can get all that at home, without the TV being turned on, well, I've never watched this show either. But I promise I will.
Monk. Another one that won something or other. Could be about animals. Could be about music (the Monkees?). Also, heads up, there's a guy named Shalhoub who works on this show (a photo, right), which in and of itself is enough for me to report the entire goddamm enterprise to Homeland Security.- Law and Order, SUV. Apparently about a Chevy Tahoe. Why would I watch a show about a police truck? There's someone named Hargitay on this whose mother was the decapitated big-titted movie star Jayne Mansfield. She lost her head in a car wreck--or was it a truck wreck? So, is she driving the truck? I don't get it.
- The New Adventures of Old Christine. This one stars Julia Louis-Dreyfus, who last we heard had been falsely accused by the French government of treason. A clear case of anti-Semitism, the frickin' Frogs took this poor Dreyfus and ruined his career. He died, penniless and forgotten, in 1935. You can goddamm look it up! Why the fuck I'd watch a show about this is beyond my comprehension.
Well, that concludes my Emmy summary. Better luck in 2007, particularly to Barbara Eden, who should've won last year for "I Dream Of Jeannie". Parenthetical aside: you're a single guy who rubs a bottle and out pops this gorgeous almost nude half-dressed blonde who calls you "master" and will, willingly, do anything you want, and I mean anything. What took Larry Hagman so long to hit it? Huh? WHAT TOOK SO GODDAMM LONG, LARRY? You homo, Larry. You homo.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 1:15 PM
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