DFW airport, 'cuz everythin's big in TEXAS!
Exactly who was the goddamm sadist who designed the airport at Dallas Ft. Worth?It's a 783 square mile monstrosity. Some urban planner was apparently doing 'shrooms one night and, inspired no doubt by the plate of Chef Boyardee spaghetti he'd had for dinner, he wrote the plan down. Then, obviously under duress (blackmail, maybe?), the city fathers approved it.
Take it from your pal Nigel: at DFW, NEVER pick up a rental car and then RETURN to the terminal to, say, pick up a colleague who's arriving on a later flight. You need to be a clairvoyant dyslexic circus act to, via rental car (and good luck getting to the "Rental Car Center"--it's only 154 miles away, in Oklahoma) figure your way back out of the terminal and thence to 183 and either Dallas or Ft. Worth. Signage? The hell with that! Directions? Bugger it. Logical order to where you go and how you get there? You must be joking. And to add insult to injury, these cowboys charge you a toll to get in and out of the bloody place.
After negotiating this and making my way to my Texas hotel, well, my head hurts. Not hurting as much as, say, JFK's head during his last Dallas visit, but still it hurts. I need some drinks.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 7:23 AM
1 Comments:
Not to mention the fact that half the counties that make up the Dallas/Ft. Worth area are dry, so you have to drive back out to the airport to get a case of beer.
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