Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Hot Chicks/Bad Flicks Film Festival continues

So, as promised, Wild Orchid was viewed at Chez Nigel last night. During final credits, I opened windows in the screening room in a vain attempt to air out the place.

The film stars the nubile Carrie Otis, pictured at left. Clarification: she's NOT the one on the right. Carrie is on the LEFT. OK? The one on the right, unbelievably, is former wet dream on legs Joey Heatherton. God, did she age badly. But that's another post for another time.

On the "How Many Dead Hippos Did It Blow?" scale, Wild Orchid ranked 8 dead hippos blown out of 10 possible. I saved one dead hippo blowjob because Jacqueline Bissett is in this movie, and as grandmas go, she still gives me a massive knob ache the size of Idaho. Also, one dead hippo blowjob saved because Carrie's disrobed as hell throughout all the important parts of the movie. Despite her inability to put together one single, solitary, coherent, convincing line of dialogue, the poor dear looks wonderful whilst unclothed and therefore deserves both our support and our spunk, dead hippo blowjob-wise. So to speak.

Next in the Hot Chicks/Bad Flicks Film Festival: Dog Eat Dog!, starring the mammoth-mammaried Jayne Mansfield.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 7:54 AM