Let me be the 1,935th...
...to wish you Happy New Year. Or not. I dinna care much, laddie.Enough of that sappy crapola. Here, then: a sampling from the 2006 Dipshit Honor Roll Top True Stories:
January: Several women in Springfield, Mo., have to be treated for infections after agreeing to be tattooed by a man who said he was a door-to-door tattoo salesman (fanciful...nay, wishful photo at left).April: A member of the all-dwarf Kiss tribute band called MiniKiss is escorted out of the Hard Rock Cafe and Casino in Las Vegas after he tries to beat up the drummer for rival Kiss midget tribute band Tiny Kiss.
May: U.S. patent number 7037243: The cordless jump-rope, invented by Lester Clancy. It's just the two handles, and you pretend the rope is there.
June: A federal investigation finds that debit cards given to Hurricane Katrina survivors were used to purchase "Girls Gone Wild" videos, diamond jewelry and a $200 bottle of champagne at a Hooters in San Antonio.
September: A Texas high school student's father is upset that his daughter is reading "Fahrenheit 451" by Ray Bradbury, a book about a future where all books are banned. He asks that the book be banned.
November: Stockholm, Sweden, announces it will open an Abba museum in 2008.
Here's hoping more retarded crap will brighten our mutual days in the year to come, shlubbies.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 7:26 AM
3 Comments:
As long as there is bufftitude then all is rite w/this fucked up world.
Here's to a shot in thee eye!
An alcohol-free break? What the bloody hell is that? Howzat work? Was this, dare I ask, voluntary?
Not to worry, as I over-did it on a daily basis.
Cheers!
It was voluntary i'm afraid to report. I tend to keep my drinking binges to when I go to the Falklands for 4 months (not much else to do there but drink and wank).
Glad you flew the flag for me at your side of the world . . . . .
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