Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

So many sheep, so little time

Here's the first thing you learn about New Zealand: 44 million sheep, 4 million people. That's 10 sheep for every person. Even the ugliest guy in New Zealand (that would've been me, during my visit) has a shot with those kind of odds.

And you'll notice this: the sheep never seem to take a dump. How this is possible, I dunno. I'm on a bus for 5 hours between Queenstown and Milford Sound on the South Island, nothing but the road and me and grazing sheep, and regardless of when I look out the window (photo above left) or whether we're stopped for yet another goddamm tea break or whatever--none of the sheep are letting fly.

Perhaps they're embarrassed? Imagine feeling urgent intestinal rumblings but having to endure being watched whilst they, um, resolve themselves.

I know how those sheep feel.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 7:46 AM