Amazing, scary food discovered...
Scientists announced today the discovery of a food that immediately decreases a woman's sex drive by as much as 90%. The food, called a "wedding cake", is readily available in most municipalities in the United States. As for me, I say: I never knew what true happiness was, until I got married. But by then, it was too late.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 10:26 PM
5 Comments:
I'm going to my brother's wedding next thursday.
I'll tell him to keep her away from it!
Nigel,
Is that a friggin "Yankee's" cake? Put that away man! Not only will it cause her not to get aroused but you will lose your manhood as well!
Flyinfox_SATX
I can eat hella wedding cake and still be completely horny a good percentage of the time. But then, I'm always the bridesmaid or else drunken woman #10 dancing with a random stranger.
Of course, most men start to smell pretty bad after a few weeks of marriage -- so maybe that is confounding the data on this whole wedding cake phenomenon.
Aren't they usually very ugly cakes, though? I'm breaking out in hives just looking at this one. And this one looks like a giant cartoon robot's telescopic penis draped in taffeta and pearls.
La Sirena: you're right about most men stinking it up. So yes, the data may be screwy.
I happen to think that weddings are more depressing than funerals but then again, I work in the funeral industry.
As to the wedding cakes, again you're right. Ugly monstrosities.
All in all, if more people practiced my lifestyle, things would be better, to wit: leave me the fuck alone; stay away; I'll take care of myself; don't need no one; plan on dying alone and am quite looking forward to it.
I have cats.
;~)
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