It's A Wonderful Life....for pigs
Enough with the Christmas bullshit.I mean, the holiday movies are all over TV, and last night, Philco snapped on and HBO a-playin', I started to get a little weepy watching one in particular. Me, imagine. The film: Rosemary's Baby (the"director's cut"), and normally I don't react to it...emotionally. **Sniff**.
So we're done with the sentimentality, and it's back to my normal loveable grumpy mode.
Here are two true facts to consider:
1. Ben and Jerry's sends the waste from making ice cream to local pig farmers to use as feed. Pigs love the stuff, except for one flavor: Mint Oreo.
2. A pig's orgasm lasts for 30 minutes.Perhaps there's a connection? But for now, let's set aside the ice cream business and deal with this 30 minute orgasm. And that's a normal orgasm. What's the conversation like in the afterglow? Imagine:
Porky (doing his best Barry White imitation): Was it good for you, baby?
Porkette: urggggg....(panting) it still is
===5 minutes later===
Porky: Was it good for you, baby?
Porkette: gaaack...(gasping for air) check back with me in 10 minutes, ok?
===10 minutes later===
Porky: Was it good for you, baby?
Porkette: braajabfaj...(through clenched teeth) will you shut the fuck up for at least 15 more minutes? Ok?
Ponder on this next time you eat a ham sandwich or pick up some bacon at the Safeway.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 9:31 AM
6 Comments:
Merry Christmas, Nigel Darling!!!
Maybe bacon can give us some sort of orgasmic side effect?
Bologna maybe?
HO HO HO!
Merry Christmas, Nigel!
1/2 hr orgasm, eh?
yup.
B-D
-----
30 minutes? Sweet. I'm coming back as a pig in my next life!
Hope your day is groovy.
I'm with Carlos. I use to think it would be great to have a dogs life, but I'm reconsidering now ;)
Merry Christmas Nigel. I hope you have recovered from the forced handshaking and socialization.
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