Off to chapel to shake everyone's hand
A not-so-vexing problem: to attend church Christmas Eve?Answer: nope.
Why: among other things, what makes my stomach crawl is the bizarre business, relatively recently adopted, of being told to turn around and shake hands and say hello to others in pews behind, in front, next to you, etc. When did this start, and why do I have to participate? I don't WANT to meet anyone or talk to anyone or touch anyone. Ever.
The horror: I literally cannot stand this practice; all my instincts scream "flee, now, you moron", as I'm confronted with strangers' hands shoved in my face. "Hello, how are you, Merry Christmas, good to see you, domini, fili, spiritu sancto, hang on, whoa, the power of Christ compels you, out evil spirit OUT, JEZEBEL SPIRIT! OUT!" (see, with me, they sense that something's not quite right, and the handshake ritual can turn into an exorcism before you know it).Speaking of rituals: we all know that the smoke thingy slinging back and forth is simply an attempt to cover up the odor of Father Flannery's farting.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 10:36 AM
6 Comments:
Nigel,
Oh, well, then... I'll have to forgo the naked handshake :)
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you --
Annie--there you go again! Jeez....
And here I thought you didn't LIKE shaking hands, Nigel :)
Go to church, sugar. Let the angels know what they are missing :)
And Nigel, I kept that message that you wrote me a few weeks ago. I re-read it every so often.
The persepctive comforts me, and keeps me from feeling sorry for myself. Thank you.
You did a good deed with that, although I promise not to let anyone know and spoil your reputation as a curmudgeon :)
And what about the water thingy?
Peace be with you Nigel ;-)
The last time I did midnight mass the preacher felt it appropriate for his sermon to be about abortion? Yeah I was jaw dropped when he spoke if Mary had an abortion Jesus would never had been born? I didn't hear much after that as my ears were ringing. That was ten years ago. I think they had the hand shaking shit going on there. I didn't want to meet anyone from that church. I really don't recall if I stuck around for the whole thing.
Woops, sorry bout my rant.
Merry Christmas, Feliz Navidad...;)
I hope your holiday is happy!!!
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