A screwdriver here, a screwdriver there--who's counting?
Executive summary: I succeeded in drinking the plane dry. Sort of.----------------------------------------------------------------------------
When I fly, I sit up front, first class. This isn't a snob thing, it's a weight thing-- I'm too big to get into the coach seats, at 343 pounds. I need the extra room. So I pay the extra or get an upgrade.
The collateral benefit of this is, the drinking starts immediately and doesn't stop till the last few minutes of the flight. On this one, 4 hours 50 minutes to L.A., I drank so much vodka and orange juice that the first class section ran out of vodka and the flight attendants had to get more from the back of the plane. It got to the point that whenever Trixie or Patti (not a photo of either of them at right and too bloody bad--they looked the exact opposite of the lovely lass pictured here) came down the aisle, they'd have a drink for me just on gp's. I lost count after nine doubles.Plane lands, 90 minutes at LAX, back on another homebound. Once seated, the flight attendant brought the first round saying: "I see we have some heavy drinkers here today!" I laughed, turned to my seat-mate and said, "she has NO idea!" And the drill repeated itself heading east. While I'm on a roll, this guy next to me ordered nothing but cranberry juice and soda water the whole flight.
It wasn't till near landing that he finally told me what he did for a living: he conducts alcohol and drug abuse interventions, like that show on A&E. He'd been vague about his work when I asked him early in the flight and I didn't press for more detail; it was only as we were landing that he 'fessed up.
I bet he's got some stories to tell after flying with your loyal Nigel.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 8:31 AM
6 Comments:
Nigel,
Too ironic for a seat-mate to have that profession :)...
I KNOW I commneted yesterday. This si the second time that my comments have disappeared - the last time was trying to make arhyme for Broomie. WFT is up ???
This comment has been removed by the author.
Irony is the slice of life.
I'm sure Mr. Cranberry will be telling his story at Thanksgiving dinners for years to come. You should be honored to be so immortalized ;-)
Yes, he may have some stories to tell, but I'm betting they'll be as dull as fuck - just like him.
Cranberry - ptah - makes me want to yak.
As for Patti and Trixie - I bet they looked a lot like the picture once you got back . . . . .
At least he waited till landing to fess up that he carries the word of Bill W. and you didn't have him trying to drag you off to his cult.
Ever meet an AA/NA or some kind of fucking-A Nazi?
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