I wanted to be a spaceman...
Comes now this story, in today's NY Times, about how the USA will have to rely on Russia to ferry astronauts into space between 2010 and 2015.Seems there's a 5 year gap in our ability to shoot off, launch-wise, between the space shuttle, and whatever the next orbital thingy is gonna be that'll send USA spacies into the heavens. So for 5 years, we're gonna have to pay the Russkies to get our boys and girls up there, perform their astronautical duties, and then return safely to the earth.
As someone who remembers the space race, and who fucking reveled in all the Apollo shit, from #9 up to and including #17, which featured astronaut Deke Slayton actually masturbating in the lunar lander...well, hell, I'm pissed.
Now we're relying on the commies to get us up there? WTF is going on? Didn't we beat their lardy, pasty, godless vodka-ridden asses 40 years ago? First swinging dick on the moon Neil Armstrong (looking old and decrepit now, at right), wasn't Neil Armstrongovich, lemme tell ya, but he may as well have been, based on this latest development.
And what benefits did we get from all the NASA sponsored stuff? Hmmm..lessee... remember "Tang"--the orange flavoured stuff you'd mix with water, just like the astronauts did? That was a major fucking accomplishment, as was bringing back moon rocks you can now rub with your finger whilst visiting Washington D.C's Air & Space Museum. Oh, the joy.Here's something that tells you the difference between us and the potato based alcoholshoviks: back in the day, NASA spent millions of dollars developing a pen that would allow our astronauts to write upside down in weightless space. Something about a pump that would continually push the ink to the nib, irrespective of position or gravity conditions. Millions of dollars.
The fucking commie bastard Russians? They used a pencil.
Who's smarter?
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 3:24 PM
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