Turn out the lights, the party's over
Yes, fellow celebrants, it's time to face facts: Christmas is over. With that realization comes certain obligations. I'm talking to you--yes, you--you who felt compelled to compete in the annual neighborhood "how festively in their face can we be with the Christmas lights?" contest.Take the damn things down, now. Like, tonight, Christmas Day night. It's over already, stick a fork in it cause it's done, no more, expired, fini, absoluti omega. Thank God.
But, having said that--there's always the one guy who for some unfathomable reason leaves the lights up wayyyyyy longer than he should. Listen, you lazy and thoughtless so and so: you have to make a conscious decision to drag out the ladder and unstring the icicle lights and tree lights and all the other lights that mean so much to religious people hereabouts. They absolutely will not jump off the gutters and eaves and branches themselves. Now get out there and get to work!
 |  |
| Out of frigging control | Back to bloody normal |
Which brings up an interesting thought, one I've never seen or heard discussed by anyone. About the "conscious decision" to take down what one has previously put up: sometime in the middle of 2002, along freeways and highways and side roads everywhere, all the flag fluttering patriotic bumper sticker displaying soapy back windows with "we will never forget" scrawled on them vehicles--remember these--the cars and trucks whose owners took it upon themselves to scream their anger about 9-11? Remember? Suddenly, they were all gone. All of a sudden, the owners cleaned them up and returned them to their original upright position. They took all that stuff down!
Why? Were they no longer pissed at Al Queda? No longer feeling patriotic? No longer thinking it important to shout our soidarity from the comforts of their leather-lined SUV driver's seat?
I wonder.
Anyhow--back to the lights. Get them down, asap, or you'll be forced to eat a warm bowl of something disgusting, after which you may buff my scrotum.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 6:17 PM
2 Comments:
got shtein?
Happy Holidays, Nigel!
Yes, happy, happy, happy!
woo-hoo!!!!
B-)
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