Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

This stuff just writes itself

See here. You'll find details on an amazing study, sponsored by Macquarie University in Australia.

13 mothers sniffed soiled diapers belonging to both their own child and others from an unrelated baby. The women consistently ranked the smell of their own child's feces as less revolting than that of other babies.

Now, what occurs to me is:

• It must have been funny at the first pitch meeting, when this professor at Macquarie University went to his faculty board, and explained what it is he wanted to do.
• What in God's name could the recruiting calls for the study have been like? They had to recruit people to participate somehow; much of that had to happen on the phone:

  "G'day, I'm Trevor from Macquarie University, 'ow ya goin'? Got a tic? [pause] Beauty! Nah, I'm not selling nothing. [pause] Wouldn't bloody lie to ya! Look, I'm ringing to see if ya wanna be in on a bit of fun. [pause] It's a bloody gigantic flippin' huge flaming important research study! [pause] Bloody oath! All ya gotta do is smell a pile of nappies filled with baby shit. [pause] Too bloody right! Ya stick ya beak in the bloody thing, give it a good ol' check for pong, see what ya think! Whaddya reckon, fun, eh, ya in? [pause] Well, yer own littlie would need to shit in one of 'em, too. Reckon ya could organize that? [pause] Woddya mean, "what do I mean?" Gotta have ya kid take a stroll to the gravy bowl. Strangle ol' brownie. Leave an offering at the porcelain bog. Give birth to yer twin. Release the chocolate hostage. Free Nelson Mandela. Got it? [pause] Yer in? Yer a bloody star! Thanks heaps, we'll sign ya up then!

And you people think that I'm sick. Sheesh.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 6:15 PM