Albert Einstein, chick magnet
Comes word now that Albert Einstein loved the poon, had babes all over him, and was fighting them off like flies throughout his life. A stash of letters released today reveal our Al had at least a dozen lovers--married two of them--and maintained a regular and ongoing extramarital "exercise program" pretty much till the day he died.My new hero.
It just proves that you can look like Dr. Relativity (charmingly pictured here), and still somehow someway attract the pink. This gives me, with a face like a pail of writhing maggots, a 53" waist, and man-boobs, hope. Not in the conventional sense i.e. "there's a woman out there somewhere who'll love me and want me." I don't believe there's such a thing as "love", plus, in my case no such person exists. At least one who'd want me without me having to pay for the privilege.
My "hope" is related to that: hope that the escort service to which I gave my phone and credit card numbers will get back to me, like they promised.
How this came up, so to speak: I was watching a re-run of Saved By The Bell with that little minx, that rigazza bint, Tiffany Thiessen (grrrrrrr....), and things got a little, um, rugged down there, you know. It happens. So, determined to take action, I went a-thumbing through the Yellow Pages and found the AAAAAAA-AA1AAAAAAA1 Escort Service.
They were the very first listing! Which means they have to be the best.
When I called, they simply over-flowed with European efficiency. I got the escort service's phone answering service, long distance, somewhere in Kazakhstan of Uzkebistan? One of those "stan" countries, I don't know. They suggested we'd save time if I filled in a little profile in advance of my future 20 seconds of shame and embarrassment, and they were happy to take the information by phone. So I dived right in.
They didn't want much. Just my name (exactly as it appeared on the credit card), credit card billing address....then, they had me repeat my credit card number and expiration date and even asked for that little verifcation number thingy above the credit card number--you know? Finally, they promised they'd get right back to me with information about an appropriate girl from my own city, someone befitting my taste and requirements.
My "taste and requirements"? That she's breathing.
Anyhow, I'm sure they'll call back today.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 8:15 AM
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