The President of Time can buff my scrotum
Are we on Daylight Saving Time or off it? I can never fucking remember. We had to turn our watches and clocks and Cialis 4 hour erection schedules back last night and ended up with it being bright and sunny when I finally woke up. That's CRAP--it's supposed to be dark and gloomy, goddammit, when I wake up. I'm all thrown off now. And when it comes to taking care of my barnyard full of farm animals, well, hell, they're confused too! I don't know what's going on--hell, THEY don't know, either! I've got to bail the hay and muck the stalls and milk the cows and screw the fetus-eating goats and all that other rural mishegos, and all before 9 o'frigging clock a.m, when my favorite TV evangelist Ernest Angley comes on Channel 46 and if I miss him and his hair (aside: why can't he heal his own hair, by the by?), well, I'm mightily pissed pissed pissed so this damn sunshine too early sucks all the fun out of your Nigel and as you well know there isn't much fun there to start with.
Dammit.
I'm as angry as all the moderate Muslims claim to be about all this terrorist stuff we've heard so much about lately (at least, they say they're angry, in private, and when they're away from the prying ears of Imam Bytemydickenjad).
I'm thinking that whoever is the President of Time can jolly well buff my scrotum.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 9:23 PM
2 Comments:
There is no such thing as a President of Time. The correct title would be "Emperor".
Flyinfox_SATX
Flyinfox_SATX: you are right! I stand, head hanging in shame, corrected, thrashing myself for my stupid, inexcusable, and disgusting error. I apologize to all military families everwhere!!
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