Hang up and drive or die and if you do I make money
Driving in our town is bad enough, what with the gigantic "my dick is too small so I'm compensating" SUVs and Hummers and other boulevard behemoths taking up the bulk of the highway. Add to this what I noticed today--every fetus-eater out there driving around with their goddamm mobile glued to their ear--and you've got a mega recipe for disaster.I was heading across town and I swear every single goddamm pickup and wagon and mini-van and sedan and whatever: the driver was busy yakking it up. And not paying attention to the road.
What is it with having to talk to people all the dooh-dah day? What's the matter with, say, sitting in your car, blasting the latest Deftones cd, whilst fantasizing about the new hottie they just hired back in casket receiving? Hmmm? Just what the HELL is there to TALK ABOUT so much? If I'm busy imagining potential carnal activity with the new chick at the funeral home, lemme tell ya, my right hand is way too busy to be dialing numbers.
KnowwhudImean?
On second thought, if they crash and fucking die while on their car phone, it's more business for me. One time, though, I'd like to prep a body with their goddamm mobile stuck to their ear--at the wake, you pay your respects, approach the box, and there's Johnny. On the phone!
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 6:53 PM
1 Comments:
Same fucking problem here mate.
Whilst being towed back home (alternator packed up in the dark - on the motorway (our version of a big road) doing 70mph - lights went out!!!!) the towtruck driver is doing 80mph with my car on the back and chatting on his phone - hey, but I held his coffee for him so he didn't have to drive with his dick (he would have needed to put his head on the steering whell to do that . . . . . . ).
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