I don't wanna be the Groom of the Stool
I'm thinking about switching careers, but I don't know what I'm qualified for. Basically, I want a job that will pay me beaucoups shekels, offer lots of free time, plenty of fringe benefits, and with no nagging boss hanging around.What I just described is the life being led by both my ex-wives, courtesy of me and court-ordered alimony.
As I'm thinking about this job change it occurs to me: why would anyone voluntarily become a proctologist? 12 years of medical school and then one day you go: "I want to be around assholes, up close, all my professional life." (Hey--this amazingly fits the description of every job going at the Fox News Channel. Excluding of course having to work around Kiran Chetry or Harris Faulkner. Grrrrrrrrrr.)
Back to the assholes, which puts me in mind of this.: the absolute, inarguable, total worst job ever, in all of history. "Groom of the Stool." A real position that real people really did, back in the English Tudor period, 1485--1603. Job description as follows--
Groom Of The Stool
The primary duty of the groom is to see "the house of easement be sweet and clear" or, more plainly, to wipe the royal rear end. Using your hands.
The primary duty of the groom is to see "the house of easement be sweet and clear" or, more plainly, to wipe the royal rear end. Using your hands.
I'm not shitting you. Then again, when old Henry VIII did (shit, that is), he needed someone back there, um, back side cleaning. Believe it or not, this was a coveted job, because of the amount of time the groom got to spend with the King in private. It was just the 2 of them, post-Kingly #2.
A charming addition to anyone's CV, what?
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 7:48 PM
1 Comments:
.......really nice blog.
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