Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Back to (redneck) school!

I've been thinking about going back to college, but I can't make up my mind which one to go to--clown college, or barber college? What do you think?

Hey, here's another potential option: the "Academy Of Country Music". Apparently you can finish your education there. How about a Bachelor's in Redneck Caterwauling?

I'll give these hillbillys one thing -- they may drop the letter "g" at the end of words, or use "ain't" all the time, or twist up their vocals to do that weird twangy vibrato thing, but who cares when you can perv on the likes of Taylor Swift or Carrie Underwood or Lorrie Morgan?

What I do is: settle back in the Barcolounger, put Deftones on the i-Pod so as to drown out any residual banjo-thumping screeching...and then watch the country awards show with their "music" turned down. And I do play-by-play of all the nasty things crossing my mind when, say, Chely Wright wanders across the stage.

I am such a bad man.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 7:30 AM