Sunday, June 24, 2007

Larry King interviews Paris Hilton

So Larry King (at left) gets the "get" this Wednesday: he's interviewing Paris Hilton. Being the first-out-of-jail interview with the heiress and slut (right) was a big competitive thing in the journalistic world.

Larry's a good choice for the interview because, according to him, he does no preparation of any kind. Plus, he's starting to exhibit signs of senility.

It'll go something like this:

Larry: Our guest tonight is Paris Hilton, recently released from jail. This is her first interview. Hello, Paris
Paris: Hi Larry
Larry: What's it like being named after a hotel? I mean, there really is a Hilton hotel in Paris, right? (ed note: hotel photo, left) And when I call the front desk there, they answer: "Hello, Paris Hilton, may I help you?"
Paris: Um...
Larry: But they do it in French, right? So I'm guessing mostly they're going to say "Bonjour, Hilton du Paree, vous êtes un mangeur de smegma, n'est-ce pas ?".
Paris: Um...
Larry: Did your parents conceive you in Paris? If they'd conceived you in Prague then your name would be "Prague Hilton"? What a coincidence that there's hotel with your name everywhere all over the place so they could just add the city name and be done with it. It's like, how surprised was everyone when Lou Gehrig died from his own named disease? Lou Gehrig's disease?
Paris: Um...
Larry: Or do they just like Paris and France in general? What do you think of Maurice Chevalier? And that Catherine Deneuve, boy, she's got some gams, huh?
Paris: Um...
Larry: And those French, they eat cheese that smells like people's feet. Do you eat smelly cheese? How often was cheese served to you in jail?
Paris: Um...
Larry: It's Paris Hilton, with us for the full hour tonight. We'll be right back--don't go away.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 8:33 AM