Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

My plan to get women in 2008

I'm pretty excited about the one big present I got for Christmas. A leisure suit! They found one at a retro shop and dang if it doesn't fit! I look great in it, too.

Leisure suits are the bomb. Ladies, don't you agree? Doesn't.....seepage moisture...occur whenever you see some studly dude in a leisure suit? I'd sure like to think so. See, "back in the day" (notice how I'm using the hep vernacular) , a leisure suit was a passport to pleasure. Whenever I had one on, here's what would happen:

1. I'd go to the disco
2. Meet a woman there and perhaps allow myself to "mack" on her. Smoothly, I'd make some John Travolta-ish moves on the dance floor. I was especially good at doing "The Hustle" and also that Russian arm leg back and forth thingy.
3. Retire to the disco bar booth with the successfully "macked" female in question and do some blow.
4. Take her home and bump uglies.

See? Good things happened to me wearing a leisure suit, and since I stopped wearing them, most of the good things stopped, too. So, it's back on the rack for the tack! Ladies, look out, here comes Nigel for some Leisure Suit Lovin'!!

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 9:51 AM