Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Outsourcing the suicide hotline

So today, being a holiday and moi, being on my own: I got depressed. So I called Lifeline; got their call center in Pakistan. I told them I was feeling suicidal and they got all excited; asked me if I knew how to drive a truck.

*rimshot* Thank you, thank you, I'm here all week, try the veal, don't forget to tip your waitresses.

(Just kidding about the depressed stuff. Actually, I'm happy as Larry. I've been busy, spending the day doing arm curls. Working on developing my upper torso. Body By Budweiser....)

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 4:44 PM

"Ego mos imbibo bierra tunc cado ut solum" -- from the Latin, this is the motto I live by. Translated, it goes like this: "I will drink beer and then fall to the floor". Beautiful, poetic, charming, no?

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