The geese and the great outdoors
Oh GOD, what fun. I have begun a walking program, shlubbies, per the good advice of my blog buddy Loving Annie. There's a really nice park my house backs up onto with a 2.5 mile walking trail, and that's where this comedy is unfolding.You know how when you were a kid, you never gave walking or running a second thought? I'm having a lot more than two thoughts, I gotta tell. Not that I'm going to stop or anything, but oh, jeez....
As I've told you before, I hate the "great outdoors". I like the great indoors. Air conditioning, TV remotes, cold beer at hand whenever you need one (morning, noon, night), etc. Mountains and lakes make me nervous, whereas watching re-runs of My Mother The Car on TVLand makes me comfortable. Basically, acceptable great outdoors stuff to me pretty much starts and ends with me watching nature programs while prone on the couch.
I like animals ok and have had many pets. At one time, all at once, three cats and two dogs. But wild animals? Not so much in close proximity, and there are some pissed off geese around the pond in this park.
Geese don't like me. They see me and start honking. How do you get a goose to like you? Should I be concerned? Maybe they need food--idea--should I bring some old bread and throw it at them? Purina Goose Chow, maybe?As big as I am right now, maybe I can get the geese to like me by imitating their walk. It's not difficult; the waddling comes pretty naturally right now!
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 8:13 AM
4 Comments:
I've become somewhat of an indoor type myself. I do like getting outside, but lately it seems there is less and less time...and fewer people I know who like doing outdoor things.
When I retired from the military, I weighed 192lbs. That was five years ago. I now weigh 240. So...I have a little walking to do myself. Fortunately there are no geese anywhere near my house.
I've been attacked by a few over the years and have decided I shall slay the next one who has the misfortune of deciding he can kick my ass.
Not sure how to pacify a goose, but maybe waving a tin of Pâté at an aggressor while throwing down some seriously sinister gang signs would work.
Carlos--I love the pate idea. "Look, goose, here's the deal: back off, and if you don't, here's what'll happen to your liver!"
LOL!!!
You should shoot them and bring them home for dinner. Geese are delicious.
Good Monday morning Nigel !
So happy to hear that you are continuing your walking program :)
GOOD FOR YOU (beams happily, quite proud of blog buddy Nigel)
As for the geese in question -- The honking is their way of cheering you on and a simlultaneous request for bread crumbs :)
Watch all the nature program you want AFTER you get back from your hour long walk.
Walk or waddle is irrelevant - it's getting your body moving/your metabolism stimulated/burning calories that counts.
Slow and easy does it. You'll build up speed and go farther gradually.
Yeayyyyyy for Nigel !!!!
p.s. remember to drink water instead of beer after you get back from your walks :)
We'll celebrate when you reach 200 pounds in 18 months. I promise you, Nigel, when you get there, I'll fly to Florida and take you out for dinner anywhere you want and we'll filet mignon and lobster it to the hilt, on me. I keep my my word, too...
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