Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Donna Smith, the greatest thing that ever happened to me

I am a total complete fool, and living proof that the grass isn't always greener.

Many years ago I lived with the most amazing woman and her son, who was then 4 years old--now he's 25. Her name was Donna, and she was a dream come true, and I sent her away, like the idiot I am. Donna was gorgeous, and fun, and a friend to all, always smiling, always, and sweet, and nice, and fantastic, and tall and sexy and beautiful with long flowing dark hair and just a perfect look, and she even could put up with my mother, for God's sake.

She was well loved in our circle of friends. She was so very nice, and funny, and just...lovely as hell, and I sent her away, like the idiot I am. Why? Because, "I couldn't talk to her"--about what? The stupid shit I and I alone am interested in? For example, I like Russian literature. Fair enough, but in thinking about that now, who the fuck else does besides me? Nobody. Yet because we couldn't have a discussion about Turgenev, or Tolstoy, or Chekov, I sent her away, like the idiot I am.

I would kill to have Donna back in my life. Vivacious and funny and gorgeous and sexy and most important, she really really loved me, ME, for God's sake! And oh, hell, I sent her away.

I don't know where she is now or what she's doing; even if I did, she wouldn't talk to me, because I sent her away, like the compete total freaking idiot I am. What a fucking fool. Me. Because now I realize what I had and it's been gone, since 1989. Donna Smith, the greatest thing that ever happened to me.

I miss coming home to her so much, I can't begin to tell you.

So if you're a guy and you have a Donna in your life, be smart, not like me. Hang on tight, and tell her you love her, and need her, and want her, every day, and show her every day you mean it, and do the little things that make a difference, and work through the problems, and keep going, and care for her, and try to understand when she's having a bad day, and be supportive, and listen hard and long, and most important, don't be a fucking fool.

I'll never, ever, ever again have a woman like that in my life, and I sent her away, like the idiot douchebag fool I am.

I love you, Donna Smith, wherever the hell you are. And I miss you like crazy, especially now.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 3:30 PM