Death in Omaha, Vice President style
I have a new job. And a new girlfriend. Both are amazing to me, and to you, shlubbies, your surprise reaction, especially to the second thing, is noted and appreciated.To the job. I now am working with funeral homes across the entire country, including Honolulu. Did you know that when people shuffle off the mortal coil in Hawaii, they have to, by law, freeze their dead asses? Something to do with the oppressive heat. Cuts down on the smell.
So at my job, there's another guy who has a "Vice President" title. He's Vice President of Strategic Planning. Shlubs, what's strategic about DYING? I wonder. And he's always galivanting off to conventions and meetings. Most recent was the National Association of Funeral Home Directors annual "Biz Dev When You're Dead" convention in Omaha.
Do they have strip clubs in Omaha? I like going to strip clubs when I'm at conventions. But, Omaha? The average strip club there would feature...cattle, naked. Horses, unclothed. Or similar. And what would you talk about? "Hi, Trixie, before you show me your titties, let's be clear about my role here in Omaha today--I'm at the Funeral guy's convention, where we talk about how to make money from dead bodies."
Thoughts, shlubbies?
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 6:14 PM
3 Comments:
One thought- I LOVE YOU!!! :) very very much. :)
Depending on the length of the Convention, I would just probably stay in my room ordering room service and watching porn on TV.
You know...keep a low profile.
hey, all caught up now - and I'm all kinds of glad there's stuff to catch up on, let me tell you what.
As for Omaha ? Yeah, good luck with that :)
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