Glad to be back at work?
Yup, happy to be back.
And why not? Spending time with
all your bloody relatives, particularly the
brothers-in-law from your wife's half-sister's side (such
sparkling, witty conversation. Just....sparkling, let me tell you)...having to deal with
retard news shows trumpeting the equally retarded dolts standing in line to go shopping at 5am Friday....and let's not forget the
flaming 26 pound turkey: who invented "giblet gravy"? What toothless mobile-home dwelling doofus thought that taking the
bird's innards and mixing with, say, smashed up poultry liver pureed with smegma and colon-rim juice would make a
yummy topping?
Stop me,
my mouth is watering!
Here's the conversation at the table:
Wife: "You didn't get any gravy?"
Me "No, I hate that crap."
Wife: "Really? I didn't know that!"
Me "I'm trying to avoid botulism this year, dear."
Thankfully it's Monday and all over with for this year. Now,
if I can just get through Christmas...
Florida vanity plate....
 | Jeez, is this ever in bad taste. Amazing that they actually approved this one, isn't it? What was the Florida DMV thinking? Post your comments at www.whogivesacrap.com |
Flipping the bird: holiday cliches on the radio
Comes from the radio this morning
details about what travellers can expect this Thanksgiving holiday.
This is news?
Apparently so. The CBS radio network showcased someone from
the "National Air Traveler's Association" (aside: there is an association of air travelers? What qualifies you as a member? Are there dues?) who, dead serious, warned us all about
the "long lines" we can expect at the airport. Then, correspondent Barry Bagnato interviewed a man who'd begun
driving from Maine last night at 11pm. Destination: Maryland.
Why do it? "We're going to eat, and then go back for seconds and maybe thirds".
Ya think?
Bloody morons wonder why people are moving to satellite radio.
NBA thuggery: Iraq war to blame! Who knew?
So this idiot,
Billy Hunter, who happens to be the Exec. Director of the NBA Players Association, goes
on the Today Show and explains away last Friday's melee as--wait for it--partly
due to the Iraq war.
See, we live in
uncertain times, and ol' Billy believes this
sense of uncertainty is what led certain members of the
Indiana Pacers to launch themselves into the stands and unleash cans of
whoopass on the fans.
This is the
self-esteem culture racket coming home to roost. Nothing's my fault! Everything that happens to me is someone else's fault. I'm a good person--just misunderstood! My daddy wasn't there when I was growing up! My mother didn't hug me enough!
Jag-offs.
A documentary really worth seeing...
Over the weekend, the
Sundance channel ran the documentary
Tom Dowd and the Language of Music. I caught it halfway through and then, fascinated, set up the Tivo to catch it when it re-ran very early Monday morning.
If you have any interest in music whatsoever, you have to see this movie.
Dowd was a studio magician--an engineer and producer, who worked with just about everyone who ever released anything on Atlantic or Atlantic associated labels. Along with Les Paul, he effectively invented multi-track recording. He was present at the birth of soul music (engineering Ray Charles sessions in the '50s), and recorded everyone from Charles Mingus and John Coltrane to Cream to the Allman Brothers, Lynyrd Skynyrd, and the Bee Gees.
One of the
film's highlights (at least for me) is Dowd sitting at the console playing around with the master tapes of the Derek & The Dominos classic
Layla...scenes show him isolating the late great Duane Allman's guitar solos on the song, among other things.
Whew! See it if you can.
Real help for those wishing to speak Hungarian
"
Szeretnél jön valameddig az én -m hely , ugrál ugrál" is Hungarian for:
"Would you like to come up to my place, bouncy bouncy?"
"
Az én -m légpárnás hajó van teli -ból angolnák" is Hungarian for:
"My hovercraft is full of eels"
"
Az én -m mellbimbó felrobbant -val gyönyörködtet"is Hungarian for:
"My nipples explode with delight!"
Mel to Sirius: "I'm not kidding"!
Mel Karmazin will henceforth be
terrorizing Sirius employees. Good frigging luck, folks.
Here's what to expect, from someone who knows: Merciless unreasonable browbeating | A complete lack of respect for your life outside of work | Zero dollars spent on infrastructure | Total and complete lack of any sense of humor
You poor bastards have no idea what's in store for ya. Happy Holidays, and let the fun begin!
Speaking of animals...
Here's my 2005 planner...recently picked up in Hong Kong.
The Clintons just won't go away
Lotsa lovey-dovey yesterday in Little Rock. Random musings:
- If President Carter had planned it better, he could've brought his tool belt with him--and got to work converting the hanging-over-the-cliff mobile home type of Presidential Library into a Habitat-For-Humanity type of Presidential Library.
- Chelsea hasn't turned out half bad. If I'd just got out of prison, I'd give it a whirl.
- Due to the rain, we didn't get to see Hillary's ankles. Members of the AFL-CIO Pipefitters Locals in attendance were particularly sad about that.
- The Little Rock Zoo opened a primate exhibit designed to coincide with the Library festivities. Below we see the two trained main monkeys re-enacting the famous "Bill & Monica get to it" series of incidents
