Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Face sucked. Not enough face sucking.

Well, that's two hours of my life I'd like back. The movie Face, starring Robert Carlyle (at left) and Ray Winstone. Those guys are great in everything they do, but the movie blew dead hippos. And the reason: there was no nudity. Sure, lots of violence and gore (it's a crime gang-betrayal film), but nothing, er, titillating. Emphasis on the "tit" in titillating.

Disappointing.

Carlyle was incredible in Trainspotting. As Begbie, the sadistic near-incomprehensible lunatic....good stuff. And Winstone was great in Sexy Beast. There was nudity in Trainspotting, as Kelly Macdonald unveiled all for all to see. And I've got a memory of mammaries in Sexy Beast, too, so you see: that's the criterial hoop these films have to jump through, if they're going to pass the Nigel sniff-test.

So: that new Harry Potter film better bloody well have some female pulchritude on display. That's all I've got to say.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 3:30 PM