Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Fidel Castro, man of action

He's just turned 80 and has had a bit of a health scare--but so what? Hugh Hefner's that old, too, and he has four hot little blonde 24 year old girlfriends who love him because of his personality and stuff. So what's all the hoo-hah about El-Jeffe, El Gran Fidelito? Just because he's in hospital and the government has released photos of him that look, um, suspiciously doctored. See here: so...he looks a little stiff in the hospital bed. So what? Haven't you ever woken up and looked like your head has been pasted on to someone else's body? I know I have!

But have a gander at these, from the photo file they haven't released yet...first, there's this at right, from two days ago: Fidel on the shores of Lake Che Guevara, just west of Habana, giving the babes on the beach the "thumbs-up!" Fidel is a water-skiing fool, and has been the Cuban trick-team captain for 43 years in a row. An amazing run, don't you think?

And then there's my favorite, "Flying Fidel", at left. Taken just yesterday, it's the supreme leader sky-diving high above the Caribbean, surveying his beloved campesinos. Wow, to be that active when you're 80! It must be all those Cuban cigars , eh? Or maybe it's hanging dissidents by their thumbs, or slowly dipping them in vats of acid, or hooking their cojones up to electrical wires, or shooting their kneecaps off, or breaking their eye sockets with baseball bats.

Up yours, Senor Castro, and hopefully this will be your last birthday. You're such a complete scumbag slagheap smegma-sucking oily piece of shit, I hope you're in pain in hospital, I hope it hurts badly, I hope you're in agony. Asshole. And the same goes for your compadre Hugo Chavez.

Buff my scrotum and get bent, both of ya.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 11:49 AM