"...the fire engine guy..."
Damn it all to flaming bloody hell, it happened again!I've previously documented my misheard lyrics adventure re: "What A Fool Believes" by the Doobie Brothers (read the drivel here) and, sufficiently embarrassed by my own stupidity and overall lack of pop culture awareness, I decided never again to sing anything out loud. But wouldn't you know it--this evening I'm sitting in this dumpy dive where these morons are "performing", and I use that term loosely, this karaoke. Where drunk losers and their significant others stand up and emit grunts and wheezes approximating a "tune", at least in their mind. I could fart along to the song, even off-beat for God's sakes, and sound better than most of these Peter Lemongello wannabees.
What a sizzling slice of merde on a platter, this whole dinner spoiling experience, I gotta say.
But the main discovery tonight was this song, circa high school, by Deep Purple, from their album "Machine Head" (cover, left). It's the story of how Frank Zappa lit some fire, I don't know. This particular tune, selected at the bar by an inebriated Indian-American (as in, "and sir, would you like the lottery ticket and pre-packed curry sandwich with your purchase of our fine Centex premium petrol tonight, yes, very good?"--ed. note: their gods have way too many arms and legs, don't you think?)...anyhow, this Paki-hating Punjabi dot-head gets up and starts singing.Now, the real lyrics to this song, at least according to the karaoke monitor posted overhead, include the following basic and oft-repeated line:
"Smoke on the water...
A fire in the sky"
Your humble Nigel had always thought it was this:
"Slow motion Walter
The fire engine guy"
I like my version better, it's more evocative of flames and shit, they can go fuck themselves if they don't agree, bastards, I'm red as a beet, but buff my scrotum anyway. Plus I think it's time to get my hearing checked.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 6:28 PM
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