Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Driving behind my next realtor

Driving behind a Lexus GS 430 today with a sticker on it proclaiming: "I'd love to be your realtor". Woman driving, very professional looking. And the first thing that occurred to was, of course you'd love to be my realtor: you need more 6.5% commissions to help with the Lexus payments.

Of course, she was on her goddamm cell phone doing whatever it is that realtors do on the phone, which is mostly cajole, lie, and obfuscate, so natch, she's all over the bloody road. A veritable menace on four wheels. Lane averaging was occurring.

See, sugar tits, you might love to be my realtor, but I'd love to be your driving instructor. The Nigel School of Safe Driving, which consists of two primary lessons:

1. Hang up the phone, and
   
2. Buff my scrotum.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 3:13 PM