Neighbor's threats don't deter Nigel
No one in my neighborhood likes me. Partly because I perv on their teenage (but legal, I stress, legal) daughters, and partly because I don't participate in holidays. That includes the dumb lights thing.I get this in the mailbox last night:
So my house isn't lit up and so we won't win the stupid Channel 5 "Good Holiday Neighbor" award. This doesn't move my give-a-shit meter one peg. I think I'm pretty fucking festive as it is, don't you? Look for yourself: here's how my house looks from the park in front. Mine's second from right. The pole has a camera and green light so I can film trespassers, and shoo irritating neighbor kids off my lawn.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 10:56 AM
4 Comments:
Sounds like you live in hell with stepford neighbors.
Maybe you can make a big sign in the festive colors of green and red that says "BAH, FUCKING HUMBUG" and make sure it well lit.
Awww, Nigel, c'mon dude, just put up a couple of lights so that the street can win the award.
Shock the crap out of them all by cooperating - and then maybe one of the daughters will do you if she gets smashed enough on eggnog :)
Not that you'd spike it or anything :)
Annie, good God woman! I'm impressed. And also turned on just a little bit...truth be told.
If that was all it took, well I'd be all about being cooperative. But these people next to me insist on...hanging around and stuff. To hell with that. Plus their daughter isn't so hot, also truth be told. She has a face like a box of frogs.
LOL. Green is Christmassy. Maybe if you put a candy stripe on the pole they'll leave you alone ;-)
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