Clean up time...
Goddammit! It's just like Joan Rivers says: you clean your house, and then 6 months later you have to do it all over again.
Last night, while in the middle of a very important conversation with a friend of mine, I accidentally spilled all kinds of stuff on the kitchen floor. And I'd just cleaned the damn thing like, on Friday, and have actually swept and washed it since then! I want one of those Swiffer automatic thingamajigs that come out of the closet, robot-like, and mop everything in sight, right away, without having to be told anything except the command in Spanish that goes like this: "¡mire! ¡usted! ¡criada! ¡limpie esta mierda!" which translates to "Look! Maid! Clean this shit up!" See, I assume all household cleaning devices speak Spanish. Makes them synch up nice with the real world, and all.
Here's my little kitchen floor clean up poem:
I have to clean the kitchen floor
Again! it seems it's always more
The mess I made, the spills I spilled
My cleaning time is always filled
It came so fast this big old mess
It's pretty bad, I must confess
I want it clean like new to shine
The kitchen pride I want is mine
I like my house to be real neat
No dirt to track when in bare feet
This mess I've made, I feel so dumb
You don't agree? Well, buff my scrotum.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 12:05 AM
7 Comments:
It's the 21st century for crissakes. Where are our robot maids?
wow! you are such a gifted poet, Nigel. This poem and this whole post for that matter just makes me feel something i cannot explain. one must be careful of the spillage that can occur on one's kitchen floor. it comes outtah nowhere, next thing you know you're having to mop up a whole lotta mess! haha!
Hammer--yeah, like Rosey the maid from the Jetsons. Remember her?
Katie--you're right. Spillage is sometimes unavoidable, particularly when you get all worked up and aren't really concentrating on keeping thing organized. I shall endeavour to be less careless in the future!
A dog or a cat? They take care of any kibbles or tasty spills. Heck my daughter dropped a wad of play doh on the floor while playing in her high chair.
Gulp! Dog ate it.
I have a Swiffer, which I do like - basically wet-napping the floor, good for lazy people like me who still like things clean. But what you want is the Scooba :
http://www.irobot.com/sp.cfm?pageid=128
yeah, now we're talkin' :)
yeah, actually i was gonna also say you should get a dog to lap it up. :)
I dunno, that whole lapping it up thing...I've tried to command that, you know, and the reaction was never good. The recipient was like, "I'm no man's dog"...so ya know, I've gotta try something alternate I guess.
Aoide's suggestion about a Scooba could be something, maybe.
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