A visit to Beijing
As I'm typing, they're beginning the Olympics opening ceremonies in Beijing. The Olympics, I don't care so much about. China, though, is interesting in so many ways.In 2003, I spent a few days in Beijing as part of a visit to my brother's family, who were then living in Hong Kong. We flew up to Beijing on Air China, the government-owned airline...first surprise: the plane was spotless, the service fantastic, the food excellent. I don't know what I expected but it wasn't this. I've got to say that Air China is one of the best airlines I've ever flown, hands down beating the snot out of Delta, United, American, Qantas, Air New Zealand, Air France, British Airways, and most others I've flown. Top of my head, the only airline experience I've had that was better was on Singapore Airlines; they're in a whole different category from just about everyone else in terms of what you get inflight. But Air China: I was really impressed.
Beijing was cold and smoggy but still amazing. We stayed at the Crowne Plaza Beijing, located on Wangfujing Avenue; we got upgraded to suites and they were really, really nice. This hotel is within walking distance of the Forbidden City and Tienanmen Square, so right away we set off, wandering off the main roads towards the walls of the old Imperial Palace. Once inside, my brother's kids and Nigel Jr. ran around like crazy...they laid down in the snow and made snow angels, much to the bewildered amusement of the Chinese tourists who were also visiting. After
seeing everything, we went through a sort of big tunnel and found ourselves exiting right under the huge portrait of Mao you see in photos of Tienanmen Square (photo, right). Lots and lots of security; police with sub-machine guns, etc., and it was here and at that moment that my 9 year old nephew turns to me and loudly said: "Hey, Uncle Nigel, isn't this the place where they killed all those people?" I whapped him over the head: "Shut up, you little shower of shit, these police understand English and unless you want us to end up in some godforsaken Chinese hole of a prison, you'll hold your mung coated tongue. Capice?" He whispers back: "ok, sorry, but you didn't have to hit me you fucking asshole."I love my family.
Next day it was a private bus to the Great Wall. Here's the secret of visiting the Great Wall: don't go to the Badaling access point. Go to Mutianyu instead (photo at left).
Badaling is crammed with other douchenozzle tourists and irritating Chinese vendors hawking T-shirts and other assorted B.S. Two reasons it's so crowded: it's the closest access point from Beijing, and you can "walk" right onto the wall. Mutianyu, on the other hand...was totally empty, devoid of other tourists. Sure, they've got an assortment of vendor stalls, but not anything unmanageable. You can't walk onto the wall at Mutianyu; instead, there's a cable car that takes you to the top. There was NOBODY there at all the day we went, and it was sparkling, sunny, and even a bit warm compared to freezing Beijing (this was November). The Wall itself is awesome. Standing on it and looking out to Inner Mongolia, you see it meandering up and down hills and valleys until it disappears into the distance.
The kids loved how we got down from the wall. Sure, we could have gone back on the cable car, but us Howle-Raines types are adventurous! Think Indiana Jones, but drunk most of the time (the adults, anyway). See, at Mutianyu, they have a wheeled toboggan track that curves down the hill--you get in your own personal toboggan, and gravity takes care of the rest. Hold on tight! The ride lasts a minute or so and it's really fun! A photo of the view heading down the track is at right. There'd be no way in hell they'd offer something like that here in the U.S; the safety Nazis would freak.
Last stop in Beijing was the Summer Palace (photo, left). It was freezing and foggy and eerie there, but also extraordinarily beautiful. The buildings of the palace, spread out over about 3 square kilometers, shrouded in mist and fog and overlooking Kunming Lake, are classically Chinese and really breathtaking.A great visit to a fascinating place....I highly recommend it. By the way, in China, they don't call Chinese food "Chinese food". They just call it "food". Remember that, shlubbies, if you visit.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 6:53 AM
2 Comments:
I'd love to visit Beijing. My mother spent two years there leading an ESL team. She stayed at the Friendship Hotel. She met lots of great people; learned a few good recipes too!
My kids are still amazed to hear that Granny walked on the Great Wall of China....and took the Trans-Siberian Railroad to Europe.
Thanks for sharing Smeggie, I really enjoyed this.
So NOT watching the Olympics here. Just isn't my bag of thrills to say the least. They aren't what they used to be.
What I mean by that, is back in the day the Olympics was a way to show off a countries military prowess. The Olympic forefathers if alive today would totally freak over an event like Synchronized Swimming.
Soft porn if you ask me. And heck while on that topic - Mary Lou Retton ruined watching gymnastics for me ever since the early 80's when she was doing those Kotex commercials.
Now when I see Olympian girls in Leotards my eyes go directly to the crotch in search of possible panty liners or massive Brawny towel bulges.
It ain't right I'm telling you, ain't right.
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