Check engine light: buff my scrotum
So, after my fetus-eating experience in Ala-goddamm-bama, with my "check engine" light flashing and pulsating all the way home, and being justly scared of the goddamm government car inspection gestapo, I hied me and my AMC Pacer to the auto shop to get some "service".
Inspection done, I was told in no uncertain terms that a) I suck in terms of my taste in cars and b) I needed some ridiculous adjustment that would cost $1,600. So I told Mr. Big Shit, who owns Big Shit Motors in Stone Mountain, Georgia, to buff my fucking scrotum; the car isn't worth $1,600 to start with as it is, and I could give a large ass fairy floss fuck if it did or did not pass the communist government EPA mandated slagheap emissions inspection, and what the fuck are you gonna do about it?Predictably, the police were called.
I have more run-ins with the law than did Humphrey Bogart in "The Big Sleep". If you
remember that movie, every time he turned around, the coppers were there, sneering at him. That's my story, too. I even keep a Krispy Kreme Donuts coupon book in the glove compartment so I can bribe 'em; I figure that hey, a free glazed original or two might just keep me out of the hoosegow.Much arguing, finger pointing, and nasty insinuations later--and I was on my way, minus the $1,600 fix, and with my "check engine" light still brightly lit. So, it's on to plan B, whatever that's gonna be...
Speaking of asshole auto dealers, here's a video of the greatest car dealer commercial of all time. Please, watch it--you'll pee your pants. It's called: Fuck You, Baltimore!
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 8:28 PM
6 Comments:
Love that video!
You can reset the check engine light sometimes by disconnecting the battery for 2 hours.
Sometimes I just pull out the bulb.
Most of the time the light goes on because of a faulty oxygen sensor on the engine block..a 15 dollar fix.
Hammer--thanks for the suggestion, but it's something to do with the emissions system...they plugged the damn thing in, and then came back with a smug look on their face and the cost of the repair written down!
Nigel! Great Video..Those guys must be a chain store because it doesn't matter what dealership I go to...I feel the same way they would gaurantee me...all the time.
I hate the car-buying process. HATE IT. I just grit my teeth and gifure I'm gonna get ripped off no matter what, and pray I'll get out of there in less than 4 hours.
ah, Nigel...you need a better way to work out those agressions, sweetie.
(not that I'm not laughing my head off over here. With you, not at you...)
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