Cheating: it's all in the genes....er, the jeans...whatever
See this crapola, from the Washington Post yesterday? Men are more likely to be devoted and loyal husbands when they lack a particular variant of a gene that influences brain activity, researchers announced yesterday -- the first time that science has shown a direct link between a man's genes and his aptitude for monogamy."Aptitude for monogamy"? What is this, the SAT entrance test for that august, distinguished institute of higher learning, Fuck U? (Killer sororities there, by the way--I hear Tri-Delts are the easiest. A cute little bird told me, and who the hell am I to argue with cuteosity?)
But I digress.
What this is saying is that screwing around on your wife is in your genes. No, I say it's what's in your jeans that causes you to screw around on your wife. You know, thinking with the little head instead of the big one.
We've learned that alcoholism is genetic--being a fat slug like me, that's genetic, too. Now this? Serial adultery is genetic?
Is nobody responsible for their own behavior anymore? Can we just blame everything on DNA? If that's the case, then the criminal justice system gets turned on its head (turning on your head--that ability is genetic, too).
People need to control themselves, irrespective of what their genetic makeup propensities.
'Cause I'll tell ya: based on my genes, I want the following things to occur, quick smart like:
- Bring me a double cheese pizza, double anchovies. The fishier, the better.
- Bring me a bunch of beer, asap! ASAP, I say! Preferably PBR, or something equally hideous.
And how about this Friday night, I get brought some serious lovin' by a gorgeous, sexy, fun woman with killer legs, wearing a short skirt and a low cut blouse, and who I've somehow managed to hypnotize into thinking that I'm a love god? Genetically speaking, I mean. Yeah, that's what I want--to be a love god.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 12:02 AM
7 Comments:
I read a paper on the genetics thing..they basically concluded that it's not normal for primates to be monogamous but humans force themselves with varying degrees of success. They also said that women were just as likely to stray..also for ingrained species survival urges... Damn monkeys!
I saw that piece yesterday and have come to the conclusion that I was a vole in a previous life ;-)
i will have to agree about the Tri-Delts as i was one back in the day. we were dedicated to our partying and other such activities! Tri-Delt!everyone else has! if i had a dime for every time i heard that......... :)
anyways, hilarious post!! have a wonderful wednesday!! :)
OMG...double cheese, double anchovies...that is my favorite pizza ever, I am dead serious. And beer....please can I come over, please please please ???
(and the picture with the doll is OMFG funny :) )
I should ask my ex wife about this...she knows better than I.
So Nigel is a love god?
well tell me somethin' i don't already know.
;o]
also WHY is it called cheating?
what is it to be won??
Nigel IS a love god!
I've always figured there's them that can't avoid the strange and then again there are those who do.
I am obvioulsy a(n intellectualy elitist,) faithful type.
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