British handshakes....eeeewwwww!
No matter who wins the election, they'd better think twice before shaking hands with visiting British politicians. Turns out that people in Britain are dirty buggers.A bunch of scientists studying toilet hygiene spent time swabbing the hands of 409 commuters waiting at bus stops outside railway stations in five cities in Britain, testing for...shit. No shit.
Example of the nastiness discovered: 44 per cent of those surveyed at Newcastle Central Station had crap bacteria living on their fingers! Charming, eh? So now we know that not only do Brits have bad teeth, they also have an apparent shortage of hand soap in their loos.
Now, as many of you know, my fat disgusting English cousin Mary is coming over for Thanksgiving. This Mary is a piece of work, lemme tell you. She's wider than she is tall, so I'm not sure how she accomplishes the, um, finishing up once done athwart the throne (how does she reach all the way back there? 'Tis a mystery).
But after hearing about this shitty hands business, I will make the both of them wear surgical gloves the entire time they're in the house.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 7:50 AM
5 Comments:
That reach around thing has puzzeled me for years. If you ever find out how they do it post the answer so I can quit wondering.
Joe, I'm with you--I don't understand it either. Maybe people like that use some kind of extension handle thing? Hahaha!
I saw an add for the Mr. Clean MagicReach. Maybe they make a special attachment for that! LOL
Look at it this way Nigel, you will be way ahead in the war against biological weaponry.
Only if they change them every time they do anything....
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