Light and hearty observations from a fat and ugly guy. Home of hackneyed drivel and ersatz-existentialist effluence. Choleric biliousness a specialty, since 1958.

Getting the pool done, months later

My frigging pool guy finally got around to finishing up my pool fixing job, the twat. It's only been four months. Jeez. I figure now I get about 6 weeks of pool use before I have to shut the bloody thing down for the Fall.

I have major ulterior motives with my pool, which is in a really nice setting--surrounded by trees and woods, with no nosy neighbors peeking over the fence. It's more of a resort-like look, truth be told. Anyhow, my motive is to get the wimmens who come over to take their goddamm clothes off and swim nekkid.

I may have a chance with one of them, and here's why: in the water, my grotesque, hideous, disgusting, awful, gigantic, flabby, obese body is mostly...hidden...or maybe I should say, distorted. From the shoulders up, I'm plain ugly. From the shoulders down, I could make a maggot puke. So in the water, they don't have to look at the worst parts of me, which is a blessing for them.

Just about every goddamm porno I see ends up with wild orgy action in the pool and on the sun deck. So far, that hasn't happened for me. Surprised? Nup. But like the good, positive, optimistic turd I am, I'll keep on trying.

posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 9:28 PM