A test -- why don't you take it, too?
All my answers below, they be true, I'm telling you!Do you like swiss cheese?
Yupper.
Do you own any weapons?
Numerous guns. And my first ex-wife used to use her "entertainment center" as a weapon, too, but she's long gone.
What is your favorite candy?
Hoadley's Violet Crumble Bar.
Do you get nervous before dentist appointments?
No.
Favorite Christmas tradition?
Settling in on the Barcolounger to watch my favorite holiday movie: Scarface. It makes me moist in all the right places, mostly because of Michelle Pfeiffer, and the interplay between Al Pacino and Steven Bauer is thespianism at its finest. And that chainsaw in the bathroom scene? Nothing says "Yuletide Greetings" better.
What do you prefer to drink in the evening:
You want a list? Beer, vodka, scotch, sambuca. I'll even do shots of Galliano.
Can you do chin ups?
Broke my arms 4 times, twice left and twice right. The first break, they couldn't fix right. Arm doesn't bend properly and I have chronic pain with it -- have every day since I was 6 years old. So, no, I can't do chin ups. Or push ups, either, for the same reason.
What's your favorite piece of furniture?
My Select Comfort air bed. Goes great with the blow up doll.
Secret weapon to get the opposite sex?
Soak handkerchief. Then, approach and ask: "excuse me, does this smell like chloroform to you?"
Do you have OCD?
No. Wait. I need to re-type that. Wait. No. Again. Dammit. No.
Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment
I'm tired. Why am I filling this stupid questionnaire out? And I need a sambuca.
Name 3 things you bought yesterday:
20 ounce Budweisers. Actually, I had 5 of them.
Current pet peeve:
Work.
Favorite place to be?
Beach.
Where would you like to travel?
Back in time, to my extremely idyllic childhood. To this day, I get all sentimental whenever I pass by a trailer park. Aaah, the memories!
Got any tattoos?
Nope. But I've got skin tags, and some warts, too.
Can you touch your nose with your tongue?
No. I reserve tongue touching for other, more serious pursuits.
Would you be a treasure hunter?
Hell no! Woods, trees, creepy-crawlies, wide open spaces, pygmies. Need I say more?
What is the first thing you do in the shower?
Try to avoid the mold growing in the grout.
Favorite girl's names?
Gladys, Beryl, Hortense.
Favorite boy's names?
Throckmorton, Llewellyn, Digballs.
What is in your pocket right now?
A pack of Camels, a snotrag, 22 cents, and a Beretta 25 Jetfire with hollow-point ammo.
What's the last thing you did last night?
Sang lunch. Heaved. Talked to the toilet. Bought the round-trip meal ticket. Had a technicolor yawn. (See entry above about the 5 Budweisers).
Worst injury you've ever had?
Being in love. Oh, and the 4 broken arms and that pesky testicular cancer -- when I was just 15. That was fun. And it changed my singing voice forever.
Do you love where you live?
No.
Does someone have a crush on you?
Are you fucking kidding me? Hell, no!
What is your favorite sport?
Women's Topless Cricket.
What is your favorite sports team?
The Scottsdale Community College Fighting Artichokes.
What songs do you play when you're angry?
Mandy, by Barry Manilow; Heartbeat You're A Love Beat, by the DeFranco Family. Julie Julie Julie do You Love Me, by Bobby Sherman. LOUD.
What were you doing at 6 pm last night?
Wishing my scrotum was getting buffed.
posted by Nigel St.John Regina Smegmatica Howle-Raines @ 7:35 PM
1 Comments:
Do you own any weapons?
Numerous guns. My first ex-wife used to use her "entertainment center" as a weapon, too, but she's long gone.
heh.
yup.
B-)
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